compromise the four letter word.

i just had a very disturbing email from a good friend, 2010 has proved to be a truly bad year for her,and for a couple of other's to. for me of course it brought GDH, into my life, and reading my friends disturbing email, set me off thinking about compromise, is this really a four letter word, are we to demanding of the people in our lives, or in fact to demanding on our selves.

are the things we believe we must have or want in our lives, creating pressure's, large enough,that ending your life seems the only answer. perhaps marriage is the four letter word, why do we embark on this journey, if we are unwilling or unable to adjust ourselves to the changes that inevitably follows the institution of marriage.

modern man i believe is greedy, and needful and lustful of an outwardly material lifestyle that essentially is not very realistic, we envy the Hollywood lifestyles of the rich and famous, as we avariciously lap up the ideal, glued to satellite television and hello magazine. we see our co-workers spending fortunes on the latest trendy eateries, on designer clothing, electronic gadgets and the like, and we crave that lifestyle, the ordinary mundane existence of children, husbands and being the stay at home mom, becomes a stress, we need to work, to earn, to afford the lifestyle, and the kids become a bore, the husband is a bore and definitely a nurturing home, is the biggest bore.

Angelina Jolie, has Brad pit, a brood of kids and a designer lifestyle,...and she is definitely not bored, she did not have to compromise, on eating out, great parties, the red carpet, but then she is not me, middle class Jane, with a husband, three kids, no job, essentially no life, and by sitting at home, with no escape from kids, not enough cash for outside entertainment, we fight, we bottle our anxieties, to the point of feeling useless, unloved, unwanted.we are resentful of our husbands because, he goes to work, is stimulated, comes home full of the days stresses, when we have been locked away at home, bored,bored,bored.

this is not about compromise, life becomes an unfair resented circumstance, there is, i want to shout a huge difference between reality, and the reality of the rich and famous, we cannot all be Angelina or Brad or even the neighbour next door, we each have our own set of circumstances from which to live, and learn to appreciate, yet being the avaricious, animal, we are never satisfied, and the grass always looks greener on the other side.

we are essentially the sole creators of the circumstances we live in, our choice to be married was not forced on us, our choice to have children, was not a mishap, or an unguarded moment, so adjusting from being single, was not an unexpected circumstance,now to be resented, we made a choice, and the choice comes with its own unique circumstances, should we not learn to embrace this, learn to live for ourselves, not to show the world our achievements, but to appreciate the reality of our circumstances for ourselves, that is not a compromise, not a four letter word, it is an acceptance of choices, perhaps then the anti-depressants, trips to the shrink or drowning in the bath tub, might not seem the solution.