the hunt for the perfect pants

to follow up,..the wedding invitations did not mysteriously catch a light, RSVP yes, those things that "indians" generally don't have the courtesy to use, believing if the invited guest is unable to attend, (death being the only reason you would not attend,) we could just send in the substitute.unfortunately for me, this is not the case in my family, we rsvp'd in the affirmative no less, your mother doesn't drive, and she wants to attend, so you cringe inwardly, smile, and mentally go through the multitude of clothes in your cupboard that no longer fit :)

that's for wedding numero uno, the following week, it's numero duo, and the events surrounding it, genius that i am, one pair of perfect black pants, should travel to all functions, and the bonus it's black nobody will notice, if i change the accompaniments,..this is not an epiphany, just some clever tips i learnt, having run, a ladies boutique for a number of years, what i'm not factoring in is that these are "Indian" functions, so my theory might fail. and cousins/khala/somebody else is gonna zero in on the pants. then i'm sunk,...but i'm brave i'm just gonna do it.

braving the mall, was my first order of business, i despise trying on clothes, if you haven't noticed, the mirrors in the cubicles are designed to increase the size of your butt, and you can never really tell how the pants look on you, since the folks were having lunch out, i did the clever thing :) ordered the pants telephonic ally,
only i would believe that this would save me hours of agonizing store hopping,
so home they came with the pants,you guessed it, the wrong size, my mum still remembers the pre-winter 5 years ago size, so that caused a mood swing, and the realisation that i would have to finally venture out of winter hibernation and face the reality of my new size.the second realisation was that a strict diet was called for, so i notified family and friends that they had to hide every type of food i loved and be severe, if i complained they are all to turn a deaf ear. one has to make sacrifices,if one is going to be the perfectly outfitted guest.

a weekend spent in fruitless search for the pants did not help my mood any, i felt like i belonged in the teen flick, "sisterhood of the traveling pants", the reality is that one size really doesn't fit all. and the pants do not bring miraculous good luck, just a migraine and feelings of desperate unhappiness as you gaze at your rear in countless store mirrors.what is worse i cannot stand the weekend shoppers, malls are overcrowded by people who have nothing to do with their weekends, but mooch around the malls, clogging up space, crowding around pants racks with husbands and kids in tow, having long discussions about nothing really, the bumping, shoving, and disagreeableness of it all, killed a really good Sunday,my fault really as i new the drill, yet being stubborn and determined to acquire the pants, i went to the mall.

finally struck the jackpot today, walked into my favourite one stop shop, woolworths.
returned the too small pants, and purchased a reasonably priced pair of black pants,
in the new size, determined not to stand in the returns queue, tomorrow, ventured into the fitting rooms, layers of winter clothing later, tried them on, and walked out of the store the proud owner of a pair of black pants. my next mission is to team them up with some evening jackets and we will be in business.as my family knows, i do not enjoy winter weather, so as usual i will be suitably attired in European evening wear,while the cousins,goose fleshed,nipples erect, smiling through chattering teeth, will be wearing the appropriate,saries/shalwar kameez/garara's. giggling into their tea cups and flirting with young men, who will be admiring the glittery girls in their glittery outfits.

i have embarked on that road,proceed directly to the wedding, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred rand.i am the pawn on the monopoly board.in this moment, i hope to survive the wedding's to come.