"the wedding invite"

weddings i believe are a seasonal occurrence,...one could go on for several months never having to attend any (a real good thing). then it hits you with a vengeance, several weddings all at once,the obligation to attend, because it's "family" becomes a burden.

then it starts, the frenzy of finding the perfect outfit,...not just for the wedding, but the mehndi night,..then the braai, then the dinner before the wedding,then the walima (boys function after the wedding).the numerous telephone calls, from home to home, discussing the nature of the invites,who was excluded,what will be served,what will be the cost of all of this,who are the families of the engaged couple, the jealousy...the pain of it all.the tears and recriminations because the person who called you has been omitted from the guest list.the winner in all of this?telkom, as the invitees and non invitees burn up the airwaves.

don't the people who throw these shindigs, have any compassion for the mortals having to attend?
i've already grown several aditional grey hairs, throwing clothing out the cupboard as the winter weight i've collected has made all my fancy garments unwearable :)one look at my newly acquired second chin, and rounded cheeks,..and i cringe at the thought of the wedding photo.
oh the depression,...the headaches the pooky face,...only for your mother to say i told you so. when you started loading on the pounds, the first thing mother said was, your'e gaining weight, your clever response, "who cares, only i'm ever gonna notice" ya right,...the first outfit you try,is a tragedy,and you breakdown, inconsolable, full of regret for not having listened, to your mother. :)

all the time wishing, that the doorbell had never rung,ushering in your cousin's who were all good cheer,smiles,hugs, kisses,.... bearing the dreaded wedding invite.
oh joy, the wedding is small, just your mum and dad, then, the strike, hitting you in the solar plexis,there is the mehndi, braai, walima,...and the joy of moments ago is dashed with a force greater than waves breaking against the rocks at the waters edge,you choke on the tea you've just served, gag on the perfectly baked butter biscuits, and wish with all you heart that you had left home 20 years ago, thus never having to be the single daughter, at home deserving of this honour.the "wedding invitation."

i really don't believe, that people understand the psychological burden of the "wedding invite". the fake smile,one has to wear, appearing to be happy to be invited in the first instance, continued at the wedding, to prove that you are happy to be there, the fake formality of the entire occassion,is the real burden,why not just have a party for the hell of it, and allow the couple in love to fly to las vegas,or any other destination, to pledge their love in privacy.

the social and cultural ramifications are deep, they cling like leeches on the back of a rhinocerous,...the introduction of single females to "eligable" males,'oh your'e so beautiful meet my nephew,' (choke, splutter, gasp)his bald, thrice divorced with an overbight, do i have the word desperate tattoed on my forehead,just the mention of my single status, and being over the age of 18, makes me the spinster, who has to be salvaged from rusting at the bottom of the ocean bed,....do i need rescuing from years of loneliness. give me a break. i am a self sufficient independant young woman, who has been doing very well for herself thank you.

no matter what, the nani's/dadi's/khala's are all there to see that you attain true fulfillment in life, marriage to the bald headed man with the overbite.yuck, yuck yuck. the year is 2007, and the older members of the family, have not evolved into the 21st century, the old adage, of we know best as we have lived in this world, wed, bled,given birth, seen all there is to see and now with great certainty what is best for you.

i live to be freed,saved from the wedding invite,i have yet to attain this dream.....