Showing posts with label life and all that jazz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life and all that jazz. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
MANDELA DAY 18/07/2012
Mandela Day is here again. 1990 was the year a smiling hopefull man, walked toward his freedom, and, we believed, our own freedom from oprression, racism, apartheid.
22 years ago, my heart rejoiced, and i sang, danced and cried with millions of South Africans. the feeling was indescribable, a load lifted from the shoulders of a joyous hopefull nation.
Mandela managed to unite a rainbow nation, we rallied, we forgave, won the rugby world cup, almost managed at cricket, hosted a football world cup. became true citizens of a free democratic South Africa. all this without a civil war. that was Mandela's legacy.
that was the ANC'S legacy, Bhiko's legacy, the legacy of our liberation movement, and all who served her.
have we managed to live up to that legacy? have we made ourselves proud. i think not, ordinary South Africans are giving back, we work hard, pay our tax, give to charity, of our time and money. do our 67 minutes of community service on the 18th of july every year. we collect for the hungry, run soup kitchens, give out blankets, plant trees, paint schools. we try to live up to the "liberation Legacy".
in return we live with increased crime levels, failing infrastructure, no schooling or bad schooling. LIMPOPO, has been in the news on the textbook scandal, schools have no books, and the elected officials are placing orders, dumping books, and stealing the money, is this what we fought for?. who are these people and how did they get the positions they are in?, our police commissioners are corrupt, government employees are corrupt. and we are collecting more revenue through SARS, then we have in the past.
There is never enough funding to do anything, yes the money has to reach a greater number of people, yes, there is more upliftment required, however, even though SARS, is collecting sufficiently, and then some ,enough to address all our infrastructure, and social issues. we still have a problem.
the problem:
1. the favours for friends,
2. elected officials who are brain dead,
3. just in it for the pay packet.
4.lovers who get free five star holidays,
5. a president with A HAREM that needs to be paid for. ( mind you thats his culture).
6. an ANC, that is decidedly rascist, and resorting to gangsterism.
7. foreign beggars on street corners every where. foreigners competing with our own poor for scarce resourcers.
these are just a few of our travails.
regardless of the fact that educated people, liken foreign traders today, to the immigrants that built this country, we need to look at the failing of the authorities to screen the type of immigrant entering our country today, they are no longer an asset, rather they have recreated the slums and dumps of their own countries. there is no adherence or respect for city by laws, they are not in the system, so are not contributinmg to our tax base, they do increase drug trafficking, prostitution, racketeering, money laundering and the like, nothing can be done about it, because our corrupt officials are seeing the money, and not the long term harm it does to this country.
human rights organisations plead the case for the many Somalis, bangladeshi's, nigerian's, chinese etc, that should not be here in the first place, did you forget that South African citizens are suffering as a result, what happened to uplifting our own people?, why arent you fighting government to keep election promises to the poor of this country? We are rejoicing at the election of the AU's first female head, a first for South Africa and the World, hell journalists, are touting her as SA'S next female president, Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma,...help us please. Mrs Zuma was minister of Home affairs, we havent recovered from the mess that is the department of home affairs. in the scant TV interviews i have watched, she is barely coherent, intelligence deficit disorder, perhaps?
i am all for women to be elected to positions on the world arena, to positions within the governments of their home countries, i am more in favour of electing capable, intelligent, honest people into position, regardless of race, colour or creed, that is the democracy i fought for. that is not the domocracy i am living in.
on this Mandela day, my wish is that our elected officials, and people employed in the public sector, start giving back to the country and its people rather than taking.
why can't the salaries you earn, sustain your lifestyles?, why do we need to be blinded by greed, and making the easy money?. on this Mandela day, give back to your communities and the people of South Africa, by doing the jobs your are employed and elected to do, if your family and friends are not sufficiently educated or capable of doing a job, dont give them the job, look to people who will be an asset rather then a drain. learn to speak and communicate in English, do yourselves proud, by doing a good job, there is nothing to be proud of when your job, is dependent on your skin colour, that boils down to tokenism, be proudly South African by just doing your work. maybe 67 minutes a year, is better then nothing at all.
i spent my day, by doing my job efficiently,(according to me) thus contributing towards the fiscus,now, hopefully my money will be utilised with respect, and reach the places it should.
our government needs to step up, or be elected out. the problem is, that the replacements will be no better. perhaps if we ordinary citizens, looked upon our jobs as an asset, and work efficiently and with pride, with customer service as our obligation, if we treated each other with repect, by doing what we are paid to do, it would have a profound effect on our country, its people, its governance and most importantly those who govern. our jobs, our professions, are not just a meal ticket. be proudly South African, and not just for 67 minutes, once a year. that is not the Mandela legacy. WE HAVE A CHOICE, EXCERCISE IT.
Monday, August 08, 2011
settling down....
married bliss. began in a one bedroom flat, with couches that looked like the woolly mammoth, we are now working on finalising the transfer details to our new home, who thought that purchasing a house would be a right royal pain in the ass.
show day went something like this: pouring buckets of rain, cold wet, grey unappealing day, but we run for cover and buzz the doorbell, the current owners are relocating, so the signs of packing are everywhere, on the surface the house looks fine, GDH, tries to open a window and the blind falls off, so the estate agent gets a bit antsy, which makes me blurt out to GDH, not to touch things, and thus our viewing of the house commences, me on tenterhooks, that hubby does not knock something over, he aggravated, as we should be able to touch , open, poke and prod, after all it's a show day, we never get to see the outbuildings as the weather is foul, and i am very conscious of bringing in the weather, on somebody elses property. so we have a rather cursory inspection and leave.
however the house feels like it will suit our needs, and we are keen to place an offer, before doing so, GDH, goes to inspect the property again, for major items, like the roof etc, to see that there are no big defects, satisfied, we call the agent, request the house plans, and make our offer, they only disclose one section of underfloor heating that has been out of order, satisfied with that, we don't note anything further on the offer to purchase, but we do verbally let the agent know that we will need to go around again to check for any further issues we might find, no problem they say, as the seller's are good people. we pay the deposit, and make arrangements to go to the property again.
i notice little things, like the household rubbish, old furniture, broken ladders old paint tins, it's another miserable day, and i am feeling harrassed and unhappy about this house, we don't get to see the back rooms, as the domestic worker is in there doing her cooking, grey walls, grey day, so i come home a little deflated. to make matters worse the bond application is becoming an excercise in futility, so we get the extension, and because the bond is taking longer than expected, we ask the estate agent in, to change the terms from bond, to cash/bank guaranteed payment, at that meeting i bring up, the mess in the back, and we are assured it will be taken care off, we also mention that we will inspect the house and if there are any issues, we will bring them up, for the seller to fix, no problem, we are assured all will be attended to.
the transferring attorney's, take some time in coming back to us, with the requirements for the bank guarantee, so we wait, eventually they do with some small errors, and we arrange the necessary, the estate agent keeps the commission, transfers the balance of our deposit to the attorney, then we are told that the problems we noted with the house have been there since the seller moved in,..we have still not inspected the back rooms, as on our next visit, the domestic is at a funeral and the room is locked, the rubbish is still there, apparently belonging to the domestic worker, to be moved when she vacates. so if we want repairs done, we are to pay the full market value on occupational rent, not the agreed upon amount, and we should accept things as is,so now despite the new consumer act, getting our attorney involved, and the back and forth toing and froing, we are still in transfer limbo.
apparently , Estate Agents are no better then used car salesmen, and sellers who get there price, don't give a rats ass, to ensure that the property they are selling behoves the price they are getting, there seems to be no integrity, and our fault was not checking out the house with a fine tooth comb before making the offer, but who can see unfinished plaster work behind appliances, or checks every handle on every window before making an offer, these things become apparent, once the house has been emptied.
the estate agent believes we are defaming them, i believe not,..i haven't called them crooks, i just want them to make good on the verbal conversations we had, apparently it's all here say, so we are on the take it or leave it page, oh, and if we leave it we are still to pay the agent their commission..hehehe!!!...and the consumer protection act is all hogwash, since we seem to have no recourse there, go figure that one.
GDW...just does not care anymore, i just want to have my house so i can do the setting up nest thing, found some great fabric to upholster the chairs with, and fabric for curtains..now i just need to get in there to get things done...i am dreaming paint and furniture and stoves, and a big clean up operation, however we are still at the mercy of transfering attorneys and estate agents. i understand that any home you buy is never perfect, they become what you make of them, all i want is to start my makeover, is that to much to ask?,...if there are things that the seller needs to do, why would that be so difficult....oh well, i will be patient, and wait to start building ney preparing my nest, hopefully once all this is done, mama weaver bird, will not be throwing the papa weaver out...GDH...i hope is not to concerned..:)
show day went something like this: pouring buckets of rain, cold wet, grey unappealing day, but we run for cover and buzz the doorbell, the current owners are relocating, so the signs of packing are everywhere, on the surface the house looks fine, GDH, tries to open a window and the blind falls off, so the estate agent gets a bit antsy, which makes me blurt out to GDH, not to touch things, and thus our viewing of the house commences, me on tenterhooks, that hubby does not knock something over, he aggravated, as we should be able to touch , open, poke and prod, after all it's a show day, we never get to see the outbuildings as the weather is foul, and i am very conscious of bringing in the weather, on somebody elses property. so we have a rather cursory inspection and leave.
however the house feels like it will suit our needs, and we are keen to place an offer, before doing so, GDH, goes to inspect the property again, for major items, like the roof etc, to see that there are no big defects, satisfied, we call the agent, request the house plans, and make our offer, they only disclose one section of underfloor heating that has been out of order, satisfied with that, we don't note anything further on the offer to purchase, but we do verbally let the agent know that we will need to go around again to check for any further issues we might find, no problem they say, as the seller's are good people. we pay the deposit, and make arrangements to go to the property again.
i notice little things, like the household rubbish, old furniture, broken ladders old paint tins, it's another miserable day, and i am feeling harrassed and unhappy about this house, we don't get to see the back rooms, as the domestic worker is in there doing her cooking, grey walls, grey day, so i come home a little deflated. to make matters worse the bond application is becoming an excercise in futility, so we get the extension, and because the bond is taking longer than expected, we ask the estate agent in, to change the terms from bond, to cash/bank guaranteed payment, at that meeting i bring up, the mess in the back, and we are assured it will be taken care off, we also mention that we will inspect the house and if there are any issues, we will bring them up, for the seller to fix, no problem, we are assured all will be attended to.
the transferring attorney's, take some time in coming back to us, with the requirements for the bank guarantee, so we wait, eventually they do with some small errors, and we arrange the necessary, the estate agent keeps the commission, transfers the balance of our deposit to the attorney, then we are told that the problems we noted with the house have been there since the seller moved in,..we have still not inspected the back rooms, as on our next visit, the domestic is at a funeral and the room is locked, the rubbish is still there, apparently belonging to the domestic worker, to be moved when she vacates. so if we want repairs done, we are to pay the full market value on occupational rent, not the agreed upon amount, and we should accept things as is,so now despite the new consumer act, getting our attorney involved, and the back and forth toing and froing, we are still in transfer limbo.
apparently , Estate Agents are no better then used car salesmen, and sellers who get there price, don't give a rats ass, to ensure that the property they are selling behoves the price they are getting, there seems to be no integrity, and our fault was not checking out the house with a fine tooth comb before making the offer, but who can see unfinished plaster work behind appliances, or checks every handle on every window before making an offer, these things become apparent, once the house has been emptied.
the estate agent believes we are defaming them, i believe not,..i haven't called them crooks, i just want them to make good on the verbal conversations we had, apparently it's all here say, so we are on the take it or leave it page, oh, and if we leave it we are still to pay the agent their commission..hehehe!!!...and the consumer protection act is all hogwash, since we seem to have no recourse there, go figure that one.
GDW...just does not care anymore, i just want to have my house so i can do the setting up nest thing, found some great fabric to upholster the chairs with, and fabric for curtains..now i just need to get in there to get things done...i am dreaming paint and furniture and stoves, and a big clean up operation, however we are still at the mercy of transfering attorneys and estate agents. i understand that any home you buy is never perfect, they become what you make of them, all i want is to start my makeover, is that to much to ask?,...if there are things that the seller needs to do, why would that be so difficult....oh well, i will be patient, and wait to start building ney preparing my nest, hopefully once all this is done, mama weaver bird, will not be throwing the papa weaver out...GDH...i hope is not to concerned..:)
Monday, July 25, 2011
happy with life..thanking God for small blessings
staring at the blank screen, trying to rack my brain, thinking of something interesting enough to blog about, it has been 10 months since i tied the knot.GDH..is well thank you, GDW, is contemplating the moving of our house, we have everything in storage, and are currently at my folks, not bad i might add, there is someone else to help do the cooking,...and it's a lot easier, many hands make light work.
much to my amazement GDH, is thoroughly enjoying his stay with the in laws, we have taken to nightly scrabble matches with little brother and his wife, and it surprises me, that we are so competitive, it's quite addictive,..just like marriage. my good friend Ashantha, has just accepted a proposal of marriage, so it seems that the institution is quite contagious,i can here it..love is in the air...wasn't that a Neil Diamond ditty, they love him at OR Tambo International, his crooning could be heard, as we dropped GDH at the airport for the umpteenth time, in our short but happy marriage. and yes, my sister in law..GDH'S sister that is,(the English language fails to differentiate which side of the family we are referring to)..reminded me that babies can only be made by having Sex,..for that GDH, needs to be in the country at the very least,..now that i have overcome my wedding phobia(not quite true)..i am dealing with,do we hear the patter of little feet?, is there a bun in the oven?,..can we make baby plans?,do people just have their radar focused in one direction, a linear one at that, marriage, then babies. granted i am getting on in years, so the luxury of time does not exist anymore.
hell i have just gotten used to the idea of sharing my bed,..finally after the last trip to OR Tambo, i felt the empty presence beside me, and realised that i have settled into marriage, and missed the sneezing, snoring bulk, the comforting body heat, next to me..now i have to contemplate the idea, of another tiny entity disrupting my idyllic life. but as sister in law pointed out, "your husband needs to be around for that"..i have a better idea, the next trip is in early September, so i have decided to pack my bags in anticipation..wait till GDH, gets wind of the plans i have afoot.
our next big step, will be moving into our newly purchased, old house, in the suburb of Norwood, another nightmare for GDW, one would imagine, at the prices we pay, the last owner could have at least, seen to the fact that the windows have handles...the joys of home ownership...and the irritation of unscrupulous real estate agents, and uncaring sellers, oh well, this is South Africa, and that should be no excuse for bad service, but i think we are inured to accepting the mediocre.
i am looking forward to the move, which will not happen for another three months, give or take the time it takes to transfer property in our fine country, so i will enjoy gatecrashing GDH'S business trip, extend it by 10 days and create a nice holiday around China, from Shanghai to Beijing...surprise, surprise.
much to my amazement GDH, is thoroughly enjoying his stay with the in laws, we have taken to nightly scrabble matches with little brother and his wife, and it surprises me, that we are so competitive, it's quite addictive,..just like marriage. my good friend Ashantha, has just accepted a proposal of marriage, so it seems that the institution is quite contagious,i can here it..love is in the air...wasn't that a Neil Diamond ditty, they love him at OR Tambo International, his crooning could be heard, as we dropped GDH at the airport for the umpteenth time, in our short but happy marriage. and yes, my sister in law..GDH'S sister that is,(the English language fails to differentiate which side of the family we are referring to)..reminded me that babies can only be made by having Sex,..for that GDH, needs to be in the country at the very least,..now that i have overcome my wedding phobia(not quite true)..i am dealing with,do we hear the patter of little feet?, is there a bun in the oven?,..can we make baby plans?,do people just have their radar focused in one direction, a linear one at that, marriage, then babies. granted i am getting on in years, so the luxury of time does not exist anymore.
hell i have just gotten used to the idea of sharing my bed,..finally after the last trip to OR Tambo, i felt the empty presence beside me, and realised that i have settled into marriage, and missed the sneezing, snoring bulk, the comforting body heat, next to me..now i have to contemplate the idea, of another tiny entity disrupting my idyllic life. but as sister in law pointed out, "your husband needs to be around for that"..i have a better idea, the next trip is in early September, so i have decided to pack my bags in anticipation..wait till GDH, gets wind of the plans i have afoot.
our next big step, will be moving into our newly purchased, old house, in the suburb of Norwood, another nightmare for GDW, one would imagine, at the prices we pay, the last owner could have at least, seen to the fact that the windows have handles...the joys of home ownership...and the irritation of unscrupulous real estate agents, and uncaring sellers, oh well, this is South Africa, and that should be no excuse for bad service, but i think we are inured to accepting the mediocre.
i am looking forward to the move, which will not happen for another three months, give or take the time it takes to transfer property in our fine country, so i will enjoy gatecrashing GDH'S business trip, extend it by 10 days and create a nice holiday around China, from Shanghai to Beijing...surprise, surprise.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
compromise the four letter word.
i just had a very disturbing email from a good friend, 2010 has proved to be a truly bad year for her,and for a couple of other's to. for me of course it brought GDH, into my life, and reading my friends disturbing email, set me off thinking about compromise, is this really a four letter word, are we to demanding of the people in our lives, or in fact to demanding on our selves.
are the things we believe we must have or want in our lives, creating pressure's, large enough,that ending your life seems the only answer. perhaps marriage is the four letter word, why do we embark on this journey, if we are unwilling or unable to adjust ourselves to the changes that inevitably follows the institution of marriage.
modern man i believe is greedy, and needful and lustful of an outwardly material lifestyle that essentially is not very realistic, we envy the Hollywood lifestyles of the rich and famous, as we avariciously lap up the ideal, glued to satellite television and hello magazine. we see our co-workers spending fortunes on the latest trendy eateries, on designer clothing, electronic gadgets and the like, and we crave that lifestyle, the ordinary mundane existence of children, husbands and being the stay at home mom, becomes a stress, we need to work, to earn, to afford the lifestyle, and the kids become a bore, the husband is a bore and definitely a nurturing home, is the biggest bore.
Angelina Jolie, has Brad pit, a brood of kids and a designer lifestyle,...and she is definitely not bored, she did not have to compromise, on eating out, great parties, the red carpet, but then she is not me, middle class Jane, with a husband, three kids, no job, essentially no life, and by sitting at home, with no escape from kids, not enough cash for outside entertainment, we fight, we bottle our anxieties, to the point of feeling useless, unloved, unwanted.we are resentful of our husbands because, he goes to work, is stimulated, comes home full of the days stresses, when we have been locked away at home, bored,bored,bored.
this is not about compromise, life becomes an unfair resented circumstance, there is, i want to shout a huge difference between reality, and the reality of the rich and famous, we cannot all be Angelina or Brad or even the neighbour next door, we each have our own set of circumstances from which to live, and learn to appreciate, yet being the avaricious, animal, we are never satisfied, and the grass always looks greener on the other side.
we are essentially the sole creators of the circumstances we live in, our choice to be married was not forced on us, our choice to have children, was not a mishap, or an unguarded moment, so adjusting from being single, was not an unexpected circumstance,now to be resented, we made a choice, and the choice comes with its own unique circumstances, should we not learn to embrace this, learn to live for ourselves, not to show the world our achievements, but to appreciate the reality of our circumstances for ourselves, that is not a compromise, not a four letter word, it is an acceptance of choices, perhaps then the anti-depressants, trips to the shrink or drowning in the bath tub, might not seem the solution.
are the things we believe we must have or want in our lives, creating pressure's, large enough,that ending your life seems the only answer. perhaps marriage is the four letter word, why do we embark on this journey, if we are unwilling or unable to adjust ourselves to the changes that inevitably follows the institution of marriage.
modern man i believe is greedy, and needful and lustful of an outwardly material lifestyle that essentially is not very realistic, we envy the Hollywood lifestyles of the rich and famous, as we avariciously lap up the ideal, glued to satellite television and hello magazine. we see our co-workers spending fortunes on the latest trendy eateries, on designer clothing, electronic gadgets and the like, and we crave that lifestyle, the ordinary mundane existence of children, husbands and being the stay at home mom, becomes a stress, we need to work, to earn, to afford the lifestyle, and the kids become a bore, the husband is a bore and definitely a nurturing home, is the biggest bore.
Angelina Jolie, has Brad pit, a brood of kids and a designer lifestyle,...and she is definitely not bored, she did not have to compromise, on eating out, great parties, the red carpet, but then she is not me, middle class Jane, with a husband, three kids, no job, essentially no life, and by sitting at home, with no escape from kids, not enough cash for outside entertainment, we fight, we bottle our anxieties, to the point of feeling useless, unloved, unwanted.we are resentful of our husbands because, he goes to work, is stimulated, comes home full of the days stresses, when we have been locked away at home, bored,bored,bored.
this is not about compromise, life becomes an unfair resented circumstance, there is, i want to shout a huge difference between reality, and the reality of the rich and famous, we cannot all be Angelina or Brad or even the neighbour next door, we each have our own set of circumstances from which to live, and learn to appreciate, yet being the avaricious, animal, we are never satisfied, and the grass always looks greener on the other side.
we are essentially the sole creators of the circumstances we live in, our choice to be married was not forced on us, our choice to have children, was not a mishap, or an unguarded moment, so adjusting from being single, was not an unexpected circumstance,now to be resented, we made a choice, and the choice comes with its own unique circumstances, should we not learn to embrace this, learn to live for ourselves, not to show the world our achievements, but to appreciate the reality of our circumstances for ourselves, that is not a compromise, not a four letter word, it is an acceptance of choices, perhaps then the anti-depressants, trips to the shrink or drowning in the bath tub, might not seem the solution.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
resolutions
GDW..AND GDH...OUR FIRST EID AS A MARRIED COUPLE..
this blog, is very much a private diary, here i am on the fourth day of the first month in the year 2011, with infrequent postings, and no book deal, wherever did i go wrong.
no matter GDH (short for gorgeous darling husband), is reading a book,/published blog, and nagging me to start blogging again, dear please understand, i am no Shakespeare, and this blog has no following, never the less, here is a resolution, and i never make those, i will blog more regularly, i will blog more regularly, i will blog more regularly..help, if i continue in this vein, my singular typing finger is going to be ground to a short nubby stump.
to the one reader, who has by default stumbled upon these ramblings, yes i did mention GDH...who for the purpose of this blog, will remain forever GDH, until such time as i have outgrown the honeymoon phase, yes, i did it, i got married, and the process and time it took to get there, will be continued at some later date....and, no, my travelling wedding pants did not make the cut once again.
if any of you believe, that preparing my own wedding, was for me more pleasant then attending a wedding, get over yourselves, it definitely ranked amongst the, i know why people should never marry, or just elope, and get it the hell over with,.. but that's me,... you will all know,by now, that, i believe, weddings to be a waste of time, energy,effort, and not to mention a waste of money....but the honeymoon, now that was worth the aggravation.
any way i am now to be known as GDW (gorgeous darling wife)...have a doting husband..whom, my father, cannot help but constantly tease,..."darling are you having tea with me?"...gorgeous, sweety,...can i help, etc,etc...dad thinks, he should have been A more doting Husband then my mum would never have need to call him a "galchodo manus"...(gujarati, that i cannot spell), of course, GDW, grins and bears it, as he is the new kid on the block, the guji, flies over his head, and unfortunately, he is the only white, in our brown universe, so his the "DORO"...white boy, and ripe for the picking.
well hey,since i succumbed to the ball and chain, i was not going to tow the line, now was i?...and quite frankly, which of my "own kind" (tongue in cheek ne') was going to be able to cope with me...unfortunately poor GDH...had his rose tinted glasses on,...and exactly 3 months and 2 days later, he is still wearing them, we got over the heartburn, from to much curry,...now we have to deal with the heartburn, that is an Indian family, and Indian culture, that have relaxed into themselves, and found a place to put the new recruit....poor GDH...how will he cope?
in my universe, as you can see, there are no resolutions...i dont do gym, or diets, so thats, that...but i will blog...slightly more than twice a year, perhaps when we have our "goa-nese" kids..(baby brother Arshad..likes to refer to any future rug rats as such)..since GDH..Is of portuguese descent...there might be much to talk about, for now this mish mashing of our differing cultural heritage, will, i am sure provide some entertainment, atleast for me.
more importantly, what overides all of the above, is the fact that we are South African first, and we will navigate our lives, as such. GDH..is developing a taste for curry in more ways then one, GDW..is realising that marriage is not so bad after all.
Monday, July 26, 2010
even the wedding is history
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wow, i am obviously overly busy,(or so i would like to believe ) my last post was in February when baby brother got engaged, so much has happened since.
Arshad is now married two months and two days to be exact. the newly weds are not so new anymore, and seem to be enjoying the first flush of the marriage cycle.
i almost had nothing to wear, yes the travelling pants, and a myriad of accompanying jackets,tops,and sweaters, were banned from this wedding. the sister of the groom, had to look at least a teensy bit blinged out. so after two months of ferrying the mother of the groom, and my beloved mum, to the dress guy, for the umpteenth time, i succumbed, purchased some beautiful velvet, and a rather funky looking, almost under wear type fabric, and i was giving the getting a dress made thing a shot.
so,.. he said i had saddle bags, I'm a bit overweight, he suggested a corset, at which point, i could have burst a blood vessel,..under no circumstances, was i going to subject myself, to feeling like a trussed up chicken,even for baby brothers wedding. i should have known, that this was going to go south.
on the day of the big reveal, just two weeks before the wedding, the MAN delivers my eagerly awaited dresses, yes plural, this was after all an Indian wedding, wedding on Saturday, walimah on Sunday....and no wedding pants, i was doomed and i new it.
the dresses (plural) were about the most hideous excuse for a garment, i had ever encounted, and i did not want to have to say, i told me so, a psychotic amount of money later, i was as belligerent as a two year old being denied, sweets, in a candy store, there, was not a chance in hell, that these garments would ever see the light of day...so i made a big shout out to friends on facebook, got some great responses, and took myself off to Hyde park shopping centre. all i can say is that HIP HOP rocks, ( thanks Leonie )first dress i tried on, was a shoe in, the deal was done, i was dressed, no stress, no endless fittings, no sales lady commenting on my saddle bags, 42 year old tummy, or that little bit of extra weight, that i regularly bemoan, but do nothing about.
the dress mind you, was rejected by Natasha my sister in law, who is tall, puts twiggy to shame, and could wear anything, so thanks sis..and all because she cant stand velvet..the next day, the little bolero, that came with the dress, teamed with another off the peg number from a chain store, ET voila!!..dressed for Arshads walimah, recycled clothing no less,...shhhh!!, don't let the word get out, or my upmarket neighbours, and the debutantes of this neighbourhood, will have another reason, to tilt the blue noses away from me, or is that because of the rather cold winter we are having.
the wedding itself, was a wedding..what can i say, i rather think, that my own, would also be just another, excuse for an elaborate lunch, where people will fall all over themselves to be the best dressed turkey at the ball. Arshad wanted to kill the photographer, the couple spent their entire wedding, smiling for the camera, should they not have been celebrating with guests, eating, the great food, that was on offer, instead, they smiled, and spent all night in the glare of the photographers spotlight, take it from me, get your pictures done before the reception, so you can at least enjoy some of your wedding.
ahhh!!! lest i forget, weddings have nothing to do with bride and groom, but more to do with proud parents, and overly dressed turkeys, all who come to see and be seen, and then, dissect your function, over tea, with the ladies the very next day, all the while, the newly weds, spent happy oblivious moments, looking into each others eyes, and the hapless, sister of the groom, takes matters into her own hands, to get them out of the photographers clutches, and the insane family, queueing for their picture with bride and groom,...so that the overly tired couple can be whisked off to their hotel, for some alone time, and much needed sleep.
yes sleep, after two weeks of indian wedding, there is nothing the love struck couple will ever do but try to sleep,...since the next morning, the three ringed circus begins a new. so a solid nights rest, is left for the honeymoon, as well as exploring, the best reason, for really getting married right?....its all legal.
the two weeks of wedding activity, went off rather well, and the newly weds jetted off to Mauritius, and the way Arshad describes it, a trip to Goa, might be more exciting.despite our choice of walimah venue, the fundos, also pitched, eek, going through that casino, rubbed a few noses out of joint, but the thought of succulent prawns, and mango desert must have clinched the deal.
my love hate relationship with weddings continues, there is no end in sight, perhaps when i am carried off to my final resting place, i will find some peace with it all.
bring it on, to add to my travelling wedding pants, we now have a midnight blue gown...lets hope that middle age spread can be contained, so the dress sees, the light once more.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
summer holiday 2010
by the time 2009 drew to a close, a few days out of johannesburg was all the blessing i needed. this year we decided to utilise our time share at sun city, the pilansberg mountains, sounds of bird call, balmy weather, was just the panacea needed to energise and rejuvenate a tired me.
prior to that a day at mangwanani and some bonding time with my mum down at umdloti was heaven, despite rainy days and crowded beaches.
i have posted a link on this blog, for all you adventurous souls who have the desire to visit this beautiful land. just be warned the baboons and monkeys will mug you, and they are the stealthy silent type, keep your bananas under lock and key.
the kids also enjoyed some holiday fun, and as always foi, was happy to be woken at 6am, not really,.. but who can ignore a toothy smile, and drooly wet kisses, certainly not i.
it was a relaxing start to a year that holds much promise, there will be wedding bells, and lots of social activity for the pahad family this year. for one who hates or should i rather say dislikes the fanfare of atending such functions, what does one do, if you are the one taking the mad plunge, with little brother close on your heels. 2010 promises to be a rather interesting year.
what with the soccer world cup being hosted in South Africa, our dismal performance at cricket, Castor Semenya, running again, male/female the debate rages on. then there is Eskom, and its 35% increase for three years, ..this is undoubtedly going to be a year of milestones,hail stones,gall stones,kidney stones...the stones are on the move, and i hope that i will be here to record it all.
my hurdle will always be a mother , who's kids have not met her expectations of spousal relations, she grits her teeth, and does not bare it, has the fortitude to live with it. i have come to the conclusion rather late in life, that one will never please one's parents and certainly not one's mother, therefore prosper or fail we inevitably chart our own course in life, make the same mistakes or not. but they are ours to bare and live with.
i look forward to the world uncovered in 2010, with interest i watch to see if South Africa rises to her challenges, or continues down the road to bananaville, interesting times ahead
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
from the free to the dom
in all this time, one would imagine there would be something new to talk about.
things in South Africa seem to remain the same for a huge period of time.
lets see:
1. julius malema, has grown even dumber than before,mmmm, thats a change. his bigotry is so asinine and i thought we had outgrown that symptom.
then perhaps not, i have not been referred to as a "darkie"/"koelie", in years but there you have it, the slanderous label headed my way out of the mouth of dare i say it a jealous female. so when you have nothing to say, or are just plain dumb, as is Malema, you should resort to racial slurs. it might make you feel better.
2. then there is President Jacob Zuma, who is visiting, rustenburg, and other unrest municipalities, where people are rioting, because of lack of service delivery, more like they don't have their finger in the pie, and now want some. the Pres however, has is task team of useless ministers, i will call them the "talk shop", appearances, make them seem more hands on, and effectually they will accomplish nothing.
3. recession is a new word for spending more tax payers money, it hasn't stopped all the freebies for ministers, free luxury cars, free flowers, free domestic service, free first class travel, free satellite tv, free, free, freedom, just meant free to be having my luxury cake and eating eat, and Marie Antoinette was going to feed the peasants cake,...she would be rolling in her grave now.
4.Electricity, now that is not free, by the year 2010, the average 3 bedroom house, will have a 3000.00 rand a month electricity bill. will the increase involve the mines, big business etc, who enjoy rebated electricity, obviously not. so here we are give or take 5 million tax payers, being further taxed,...do we mind paying the bills so that the less fortunate of this country, would have access to services, education, housing, we sure as hell don't. but, ...how much can you milk this cow, till she drops dead, while all the time her precious milk is squandered on maintaining the elitist life style of government, municipal,BEE fat cats, who higher yachts, have tv in their cars, drink moet, eat caviar, and the masses still languish in squalor.
5. then theres the sorry excuse of an education system, first year varsity students, cannot read or write in English. and now we should blame poverty, and lack of language usage, surely when you enter grade one, you should be taught in English, but it was that genius Kader Asmal, who made it impossible to fail a student, if they failed a written exam, they should get an oral, if they passed or failed that, they still got bummed up the ranks, are you surprised then, that varsity students, can't read,write,or do simple arithmetic, poverty is just the excuse to cover up, ministerial failure, outcomes based education my ass. you are breeding a nation of bigoted idiots, and passing the buck to poverty shame on us.
6. lets not forget Selebi, our embattled police commissioner, who will get off with no more than a wrap on the knuckles, the singing canary, Agliotti, is possibly going to come off the worse for wear, Selebi of course must still be on the government payroll. so what real effect will changing the ranking of police people, make to that corrupt institution,.. obviously nothing. And our army, lets not discuss those hooligans, if disciplined armies reflect the state of a nation, what do our hoodlums say about the state of our nation. surely by the time you are over thirty, you should have moved up the ranks or out of the army. thank God these guys are not having to defend us against attack, oh shit what am i thinking, we are under attack, attack from bigotry, greed,stupidity, arrogance, shall i go on.
7. where are the patriots, where are the good intentions, hard work, integrity, that we were building our new free nation on, well free exists, just in terms of material upliftment for the few free, while dom, encapsulates the rest of us idiots who believed in the integrity, and decency of our leaders. but then i forget myself, we have actually attained freedom in South Africa, based on this rather rudimentary analysis....hallelujah.
i suggest opening the links on this blog, and it will effectively show the idiots we are breeding in south Africa. Julius, cannot be blamed on outcomes based education, to his credit he has no education,..but this does not bode well for the future.
however we do great adds even when lampooning ourselves.
things in South Africa seem to remain the same for a huge period of time.
lets see:
1. julius malema, has grown even dumber than before,mmmm, thats a change. his bigotry is so asinine and i thought we had outgrown that symptom.
then perhaps not, i have not been referred to as a "darkie"/"koelie", in years but there you have it, the slanderous label headed my way out of the mouth of dare i say it a jealous female. so when you have nothing to say, or are just plain dumb, as is Malema, you should resort to racial slurs. it might make you feel better.
2. then there is President Jacob Zuma, who is visiting, rustenburg, and other unrest municipalities, where people are rioting, because of lack of service delivery, more like they don't have their finger in the pie, and now want some. the Pres however, has is task team of useless ministers, i will call them the "talk shop", appearances, make them seem more hands on, and effectually they will accomplish nothing.
3. recession is a new word for spending more tax payers money, it hasn't stopped all the freebies for ministers, free luxury cars, free flowers, free domestic service, free first class travel, free satellite tv, free, free, freedom, just meant free to be having my luxury cake and eating eat, and Marie Antoinette was going to feed the peasants cake,...she would be rolling in her grave now.
4.Electricity, now that is not free, by the year 2010, the average 3 bedroom house, will have a 3000.00 rand a month electricity bill. will the increase involve the mines, big business etc, who enjoy rebated electricity, obviously not. so here we are give or take 5 million tax payers, being further taxed,...do we mind paying the bills so that the less fortunate of this country, would have access to services, education, housing, we sure as hell don't. but, ...how much can you milk this cow, till she drops dead, while all the time her precious milk is squandered on maintaining the elitist life style of government, municipal,BEE fat cats, who higher yachts, have tv in their cars, drink moet, eat caviar, and the masses still languish in squalor.
5. then theres the sorry excuse of an education system, first year varsity students, cannot read or write in English. and now we should blame poverty, and lack of language usage, surely when you enter grade one, you should be taught in English, but it was that genius Kader Asmal, who made it impossible to fail a student, if they failed a written exam, they should get an oral, if they passed or failed that, they still got bummed up the ranks, are you surprised then, that varsity students, can't read,write,or do simple arithmetic, poverty is just the excuse to cover up, ministerial failure, outcomes based education my ass. you are breeding a nation of bigoted idiots, and passing the buck to poverty shame on us.
6. lets not forget Selebi, our embattled police commissioner, who will get off with no more than a wrap on the knuckles, the singing canary, Agliotti, is possibly going to come off the worse for wear, Selebi of course must still be on the government payroll. so what real effect will changing the ranking of police people, make to that corrupt institution,.. obviously nothing. And our army, lets not discuss those hooligans, if disciplined armies reflect the state of a nation, what do our hoodlums say about the state of our nation. surely by the time you are over thirty, you should have moved up the ranks or out of the army. thank God these guys are not having to defend us against attack, oh shit what am i thinking, we are under attack, attack from bigotry, greed,stupidity, arrogance, shall i go on.
7. where are the patriots, where are the good intentions, hard work, integrity, that we were building our new free nation on, well free exists, just in terms of material upliftment for the few free, while dom, encapsulates the rest of us idiots who believed in the integrity, and decency of our leaders. but then i forget myself, we have actually attained freedom in South Africa, based on this rather rudimentary analysis....hallelujah.
i suggest opening the links on this blog, and it will effectively show the idiots we are breeding in south Africa. Julius, cannot be blamed on outcomes based education, to his credit he has no education,..but this does not bode well for the future.
however we do great adds even when lampooning ourselves.
Friday, August 21, 2009
ramadaan mubarak
i have a friend who always jokes, no,no, not Mubarak...can't wish that on anyone.
Hosne Mubarak, surely has everyone running, to avoid, the Mubarak taint. so instead i should say Ramadan Kareem.
it is that time of the year again, and for some reason, i am not having a sense of the spiritual,perhaps the every day reality of life, is more adapt at occupying my time and energy. the gifts of dates have been coming in fast and furious, i would love to know how many tons of the stuff are consumed over Ramadan, interesting, i should google that.
my one concession to the food drought over the next month was to cook up a great jummah lunch, the effects of which are lulling me to sleep at my desk, but then its friday who needs to work right?
so here's wishing friends, family, loved ones a happy and joyous Ramadan. may you be blessed and come out all the better for it.
Hosne Mubarak, surely has everyone running, to avoid, the Mubarak taint. so instead i should say Ramadan Kareem.
it is that time of the year again, and for some reason, i am not having a sense of the spiritual,perhaps the every day reality of life, is more adapt at occupying my time and energy. the gifts of dates have been coming in fast and furious, i would love to know how many tons of the stuff are consumed over Ramadan, interesting, i should google that.
my one concession to the food drought over the next month was to cook up a great jummah lunch, the effects of which are lulling me to sleep at my desk, but then its friday who needs to work right?
so here's wishing friends, family, loved ones a happy and joyous Ramadan. may you be blessed and come out all the better for it.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
3 years between them
pahad 1 and pahad 2..both reached birthdays in july. azad celerbrated his second and iman her first. i have the amazing joy of seeing little people develop. first everythings, solid food,steps,words.
Azad has his three word sentences, grandpa and Azad time, involves trips to the glenhove petrol station, to watch trucks roll off the highway, eat ice cream and get the car washed, the last trip, the car wash was faulty, so i heard "foi...machween bwoken.." in response to what is your name...he says "bik..boyee"..who's a silly billy? Dada...the list is endless and his mischievious streek just shines right through.
Iman has the cutest dimple and a face that is always wreathed in smiles, a temperate nature, that can take flight when bik boyee, harasses her, which he does for the hell of it. she has a penchant for the telephone much like her aunt, and i shudder to think what daddy will be paying in phone bills.
i avoid the television like the plague, believing that we can entertain and educate without use of it, much to my chagrin i have succumbed, The sound of music, popcorn and chips is good for a snatched 10 minutes, in which i can achieve a grown up thing or two. music gets iman jiggling and wiggling those hips, and cbeebies, can get you 10 minutes more.
suffice to say, that the kids are the most amusing little people, who keep you busy , and when they are not around we talk about them constantly...
Proudly South African
fisherman....umdloti beach
monkeys in the backyard
night skies...bela bela
bela bela....mpumalanga
johannesburg from westcliff
what is it about ex pats/immigrants...or those people who leave their home countries and settle "where the grass is greener"....more often than not they spend their time, trying to convince themselves that they have done the right thing.it is a lifelong comparison between what they left behind and the lives they are living.
what beats me is the superior holier than though attitude, they exude, especially when they have settled in first world countries. i attended a family dinner some time back, in attendance were family and neighbours (note i do not say friends) now settled in Toronto Canada, my dander had risen octaves at the dinner conversation, because they spent the evening lambasting all the ills that is south Africa. pray, tell me ,why do they take retirement packages and return to this horrible savage land. or why are their kids enjoying cheap university educations in South Africa? when they are now citizens of another country.it's cheaper,... dunh!!! . and here i am paying my tax, living in the third world and not enjoying all these benefits. when they left for greener pastures, nary a thought was given to this country or its development, so why rape our good nature now. if you have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all.
i am a firm believer,that, when one decides to immigrate the objective is to embrace your adoptive home warts and all, having one foot in South Africa and another (for argument sake) in Canada serves no purpose. it manages to ensure that the immigrant remains rootless and unhinged, never knowing where they belong. the same applied to my forefathers when they arrived in South Africa, the difference is that we became and are South African. yes my grandfather was born in the village of Kholvad in the state of Gujarat in India, and that makes us of Indian origin. the Indian we are is a cultural and ethnic one, what i truly am is A South African. my accent, my manner,my obligations, when i sleep at night the sounds of the African night, my neighbours dogs, the cursing drunk walking down the road, the screeching cars, the smells these are all African, they belong to the soul of me,
my eyes do not close nor my nose smell, the spicy scents of India, the smell of raat ki raani, jasmine,vendors singing their beautiful tunes in Hindi,Gujarati,Malayalam, the flat guttural tones of South African accents are my lullaby.the vast blue skies, the ever present smiling sun, the browns of the highveld,....these speak to my soul.
i am but a visitor in the land of my ancestors, the shiny brown of my skin, the lustrous curl in my hair, my little nose and almond eyes, they are evidence of my ancestry, a history that adds value and spice to my home, the land that is South Africa.
this is the feeling you should have when you immigrate to another country, lording it over what you deem your country bumpkin cousins, and feeling superior because you have made it out,...is not testimony to being of any country. it smacks of displacement and anxiety, a feeling of non belonging. so i can say i am South African and proudly so.
see the link
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
sporting headlines
seems my life has been filled with cricket recently. the IPL left our shores, and once again we were glued to a forty inch box, to watch the ICC limited over cricket at lords. i have discovered that i am a great fan of cricket, most especially the armchair sports variety, though attending a limited overs game now and then is great fun.for me possibly the doughnuts smothered in melted chocolate is the attraction.
i supported the proteas with a great deal of vigour and hoped that the bad luck fairy, would be kind, and we would finally see a cricketing trophy gracing the south African cricket board shelves. alas it was not to be, once again it was so near yet so far. i thought after watching Sri Lanka demolish the West indies.an unbeaten 96 runs from tillakeratne dilshan, some impressive bowling from muralidaran, made me believe that the final, up against boom boom Afridi, was going to be an edge of the seat experience. i should have known better. it was a final after all.
Sri lanka folded like a bad poker hand. the game was over, before the first ball was bowled,...Pakistan had the good luck cricketing fairies on their side. Afridi did a brilliant job with both bat and ball,as i witnessed the Sri Lankan batting order collapse i couldn't help but believe, that South Africa, might have given Pakistan some tougher opposition.
the cry of Pakistan Zindabad reverberated the world over, as every expat immigrant Pakistani, found their patriotic voices, which only seems to rise out of the ashes, when the men in green, find victory on the cricket pitch. i have not witnessed such zealousness, and patriotism at any other time, either on my visits to Pakistan or in my dealings with Pakistanis outside of their country.
the next morning my facebook homepage was awash with congratulations for Pakistan, my own status, hailing their win, it all deteriorated into disappointment, when some of my Pakistani friends, assumed that celebrating victory, was reason to humiliate their opponents. i am firmly of the belief, that in victory, their must be graciousness and humility, that as good as the victor gives, so his/her opponents
give of their best, when i read these headline notices on facebook, i could not help, but be moved to respond.
"well played boys! Koi nai! Koi nai! No big deal"
"70 to 6 baby!"
"come on boys! show the suckers the power of green"
Un-beatable? Un challenged eh??...Die- suckers Die!!! PAKISTAN ZINDABAD"
AND THE ONE THAT KILLED ME:
"do i see my SA friends choking on their words?
shahid afridi a big chumma!....Sri Lanka go back to blackland. the future is green. PAKISTAN ZINDABAD!.....
Modern day sports is much like ancient gladiators locked in battle to survive, the spectators baying for blood, anticipating death, like wise we cheer on our national teams, cry tears at their losses, and bay for our opponents blood, but all in the name of good sportsmanship, healthy rivalries. what shocked me to the corp, was the blatant aggression and racism inherent, in the remarks above. we have carried the colonial flag, that black is weak, black is bad, black is to be opressed into our lives.
having lived and been born into a country, where my every moment in life was governed by the colour of my skin, where i could eat, where i could sleep, where i could shit, "DIE SLEGS BLANKES " (ONLY WHITES) signs of my life, ingrained deep within my psyche and those of every south African. has left scars and a deep rooted pain. i find tears roll down my cheeks as i write this, and i cry for the losses incurred by being racist. my stomach churned at the words "GO BACK TO BLACKLAND"...how can any young educated woman, as strongly as her patriotic fervour had arisen in her heart, show such disrespect, to a team and a country, who had acquitted themselves so well during this tournament. i could not help but respond.
the sad part was realising, that both arrogance and stupidity are a lethal combination, as my response was totally misunderstood, the fact that Pakistan was victorious was justification enough to be racist, and her friends were in agreement.
never once in two days of comments going back and forth, did anyone apologise for being racist. it astounds me and boggles the mind, Pakistani immigrants, find themselves being racially attacked on a regular basis, the slur of "paki go home", resounds around the streets of London,and other countries that people have immigrated to. i say this, having been attacked in this manner, on a visit to london. as i walked down a suburban street, uncouth ill mannered british "white" construction workers, yelled out "paki go home", it cut deep, and i could only excuse it away, because they were uneducated, manual labourers who were just jealous...right?
having witnessed Pakistani pilgrims in Saudi Arabia being manhadlded just because they are Pakistani, and South Africans torch Pakistani businesses, because these immigrants are seen as a threat.i cannot condone then that pakistani's would behave in the same manner, surely we treat others as we would like to be treated.
knowing all this it irritated me, that (I am generalising here i am sure)...that Pakistani nationals themselves could exhibit, such demeaning racist behaviour towards a sporting opponent, who were both gracious in defeat as well as in victory.
has our education an evolution as a species, been so sorely lacking that we are so unforgiving in our approach to other people. my mistake was believing that the woman i addressed had intelligence and grace, i obviously credited her with more than she deserved.
she became a sore indictment to Pakistan, and reason in my mind at least, that Pakistan has a long way to go, before she can progress and become a respected player in this world. if the people that make up a nation, more importantly their mind set has not evolved beyond the gutter, than how can a country make any progress in the world. political change happens, rulers and ruling parties come and go. unless the thinking and mindset of a people are not changed their can never be any hope for a country to prosper and be better than it is. if you cannot respect yourself, never believe that the world will ever respect you.
i supported the proteas with a great deal of vigour and hoped that the bad luck fairy, would be kind, and we would finally see a cricketing trophy gracing the south African cricket board shelves. alas it was not to be, once again it was so near yet so far. i thought after watching Sri Lanka demolish the West indies.an unbeaten 96 runs from tillakeratne dilshan, some impressive bowling from muralidaran, made me believe that the final, up against boom boom Afridi, was going to be an edge of the seat experience. i should have known better. it was a final after all.
Sri lanka folded like a bad poker hand. the game was over, before the first ball was bowled,...Pakistan had the good luck cricketing fairies on their side. Afridi did a brilliant job with both bat and ball,as i witnessed the Sri Lankan batting order collapse i couldn't help but believe, that South Africa, might have given Pakistan some tougher opposition.
the cry of Pakistan Zindabad reverberated the world over, as every expat immigrant Pakistani, found their patriotic voices, which only seems to rise out of the ashes, when the men in green, find victory on the cricket pitch. i have not witnessed such zealousness, and patriotism at any other time, either on my visits to Pakistan or in my dealings with Pakistanis outside of their country.
the next morning my facebook homepage was awash with congratulations for Pakistan, my own status, hailing their win, it all deteriorated into disappointment, when some of my Pakistani friends, assumed that celebrating victory, was reason to humiliate their opponents. i am firmly of the belief, that in victory, their must be graciousness and humility, that as good as the victor gives, so his/her opponents
give of their best, when i read these headline notices on facebook, i could not help, but be moved to respond.
"well played boys! Koi nai! Koi nai! No big deal"
"70 to 6 baby!"
"come on boys! show the suckers the power of green"
Un-beatable? Un challenged eh??...Die- suckers Die!!! PAKISTAN ZINDABAD"
AND THE ONE THAT KILLED ME:
"do i see my SA friends choking on their words?
shahid afridi a big chumma!....Sri Lanka go back to blackland. the future is green. PAKISTAN ZINDABAD!.....
Modern day sports is much like ancient gladiators locked in battle to survive, the spectators baying for blood, anticipating death, like wise we cheer on our national teams, cry tears at their losses, and bay for our opponents blood, but all in the name of good sportsmanship, healthy rivalries. what shocked me to the corp, was the blatant aggression and racism inherent, in the remarks above. we have carried the colonial flag, that black is weak, black is bad, black is to be opressed into our lives.
having lived and been born into a country, where my every moment in life was governed by the colour of my skin, where i could eat, where i could sleep, where i could shit, "DIE SLEGS BLANKES " (ONLY WHITES) signs of my life, ingrained deep within my psyche and those of every south African. has left scars and a deep rooted pain. i find tears roll down my cheeks as i write this, and i cry for the losses incurred by being racist. my stomach churned at the words "GO BACK TO BLACKLAND"...how can any young educated woman, as strongly as her patriotic fervour had arisen in her heart, show such disrespect, to a team and a country, who had acquitted themselves so well during this tournament. i could not help but respond.
the sad part was realising, that both arrogance and stupidity are a lethal combination, as my response was totally misunderstood, the fact that Pakistan was victorious was justification enough to be racist, and her friends were in agreement.
never once in two days of comments going back and forth, did anyone apologise for being racist. it astounds me and boggles the mind, Pakistani immigrants, find themselves being racially attacked on a regular basis, the slur of "paki go home", resounds around the streets of London,and other countries that people have immigrated to. i say this, having been attacked in this manner, on a visit to london. as i walked down a suburban street, uncouth ill mannered british "white" construction workers, yelled out "paki go home", it cut deep, and i could only excuse it away, because they were uneducated, manual labourers who were just jealous...right?
having witnessed Pakistani pilgrims in Saudi Arabia being manhadlded just because they are Pakistani, and South Africans torch Pakistani businesses, because these immigrants are seen as a threat.i cannot condone then that pakistani's would behave in the same manner, surely we treat others as we would like to be treated.
knowing all this it irritated me, that (I am generalising here i am sure)...that Pakistani nationals themselves could exhibit, such demeaning racist behaviour towards a sporting opponent, who were both gracious in defeat as well as in victory.
has our education an evolution as a species, been so sorely lacking that we are so unforgiving in our approach to other people. my mistake was believing that the woman i addressed had intelligence and grace, i obviously credited her with more than she deserved.
she became a sore indictment to Pakistan, and reason in my mind at least, that Pakistan has a long way to go, before she can progress and become a respected player in this world. if the people that make up a nation, more importantly their mind set has not evolved beyond the gutter, than how can a country make any progress in the world. political change happens, rulers and ruling parties come and go. unless the thinking and mindset of a people are not changed their can never be any hope for a country to prosper and be better than it is. if you cannot respect yourself, never believe that the world will ever respect you.
Monday, June 01, 2009
sports
TO THE VICTOR GO THE SPOILS
"ROME" 2009 THE BULL RING....
SPECTATORS FROM FAR AND WIDE
CHEERING ON THE GLADIATORS
IPL AT THE BULL RING...WANDERERS STADIUM JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA
the IPL came and went. the BULLS (rugby) smashed the opposition this weekend. Chelsea took the FA cup final. can someone please explain to me the zealousness with which people worship sports.
we fill the arenas cheering our teams on, much like gladiators in a ring, and the crowds dance,cheer stomp their feet and consume copious amounts of indigestible junk, litres of beer, go home intoxicated with the win, only to do it all again come next weekend.
i marvel at the phenomenon, and admire the industry it has all become, their are potloads of money to be made and the organisers, advertisers, promoters, owners are astute businessmen, who dish out what people crave, and make themselves rich, while the belching masses,get intoxicated by the adrenaline rush of supporting some or other team.
so when reporters lament the demise of the gentleman's game of cricket, lounging on the lawns for five days, sipping champagne and eating cucumber sandwiches, i have to say, catch a wake up dude, it's no longer the era of white shirted, parasol carrying spectators, with inherited wealth, puffing on pipes. it's all about mass marketing, and keeping the masses in a state of euphoria, so we forget the crap in our lives.
it was bound to happen to cricket,...the likes of the IPL,...why should it not, a shorter money making enterprise, which keeps people entertained and happy.its a sign of the times, evolution, for the better? you decide.....
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
tea time
haven't been attracted much to my blog recently. i believe it is simply because i have been inundated at the office. truthfully it is because i have renewed my rather inactive social life. also that i spend far to much time on facebook.
i "celebrated" yet another birthday,and decided to kick start my life, back into the realm of the living. i felt stuck in a rut, and the easy option was to accept that this is what life had to offer,....wrong.
a friend told me that we should never be afraid of living life, but be afraid of never having lived it, cliched perhaps, but apt none the less.i took a mid week break, shock horror,...all in my previous post. have taken time off, to drive around Johannesburg, and enjoy this city in the first blush of the summer sun.even booked an overnight stay, in polokwane for the weekend coming up, pics to follow....lunch dates and tea breaks, none of which have been on my usual daily activities, guess what? it has made an unbelievable difference in the way i view the world and approach my day.
i ask myself now, why i have never taken that tea break...a warm cup of tea, loving company, a time to reflect and chat,to cuddle,to laugh, to plan.it is amazing what a good cup of tea, shared in friendship can do for a person.my usual modus operandi, would be to work through a day, get home exhausted, have a bite and retire.
life usually happened on weekends, and that to interspersed with work, so relaxation time, could be counted on the fingers of my right hand. unbelievable, but true.
family happens all around me on a continuous basis, and their demands on my time and person, are constant. the trouble is that we allow it, then want to whinge about it, to late the dye has been cast.that is why i have discovered the importance of that tea break, just up the road, in a quite spot, miracles do happen over delicious cups of tea.
tea breaks in the middle of the week, can rejuvenate and replenish, possibly the reason why the British colonised half the globe, in search of the perfect tea.
tea is a family thing usually, had at the close of the day, if we are lucky some home made biscuits, find there way to the table.
then there's that early morning cuppa to kick start your day.
the one that gets your thought processes going, and heads you towards the door into the office.
my favourite tea though?would be down the road, a tea shared by two.long moments of togetherness, comforting discussion and a whole lot of laughter.
that tea, elicited some spiritual thoughts and brought a reminder of a book i read, some time back, a line that sticks with me says, "there is a vast difference between reading the menu and deriving nourishment from a meal; but the sincere seeker of wisdom will end up by being amongst the wise....."
tea, made me realise that reading the menu of life is just not good enough, whatever the consequences one has to partake of life, to say that i have lived, truly lived.A touch, a smile,a look can bring forth great miracles in life, as human beings isn't that what we crave, to be touched, to be nourished by proximity to those we love. we are tactile beings it is written in the tea leaves.
i have decided to take time off from the daily grind to purely smell the tea leaves.
i "celebrated" yet another birthday,and decided to kick start my life, back into the realm of the living. i felt stuck in a rut, and the easy option was to accept that this is what life had to offer,....wrong.
a friend told me that we should never be afraid of living life, but be afraid of never having lived it, cliched perhaps, but apt none the less.i took a mid week break, shock horror,...all in my previous post. have taken time off, to drive around Johannesburg, and enjoy this city in the first blush of the summer sun.even booked an overnight stay, in polokwane for the weekend coming up, pics to follow....lunch dates and tea breaks, none of which have been on my usual daily activities, guess what? it has made an unbelievable difference in the way i view the world and approach my day.
i ask myself now, why i have never taken that tea break...a warm cup of tea, loving company, a time to reflect and chat,to cuddle,to laugh, to plan.it is amazing what a good cup of tea, shared in friendship can do for a person.my usual modus operandi, would be to work through a day, get home exhausted, have a bite and retire.
life usually happened on weekends, and that to interspersed with work, so relaxation time, could be counted on the fingers of my right hand. unbelievable, but true.
family happens all around me on a continuous basis, and their demands on my time and person, are constant. the trouble is that we allow it, then want to whinge about it, to late the dye has been cast.that is why i have discovered the importance of that tea break, just up the road, in a quite spot, miracles do happen over delicious cups of tea.
tea breaks in the middle of the week, can rejuvenate and replenish, possibly the reason why the British colonised half the globe, in search of the perfect tea.
tea is a family thing usually, had at the close of the day, if we are lucky some home made biscuits, find there way to the table.
then there's that early morning cuppa to kick start your day.
the one that gets your thought processes going, and heads you towards the door into the office.
my favourite tea though?would be down the road, a tea shared by two.long moments of togetherness, comforting discussion and a whole lot of laughter.
that tea, elicited some spiritual thoughts and brought a reminder of a book i read, some time back, a line that sticks with me says, "there is a vast difference between reading the menu and deriving nourishment from a meal; but the sincere seeker of wisdom will end up by being amongst the wise....."
tea, made me realise that reading the menu of life is just not good enough, whatever the consequences one has to partake of life, to say that i have lived, truly lived.A touch, a smile,a look can bring forth great miracles in life, as human beings isn't that what we crave, to be touched, to be nourished by proximity to those we love. we are tactile beings it is written in the tea leaves.
i have decided to take time off from the daily grind to purely smell the tea leaves.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
eid mubarak
mmmm!!!cannot wait to sink my teeth into these
eid gifts, note all the chocolates....
it's finally that time again, presently 14h30 and i am counting the minutes to iftaar. i sound bad, but hey this has been a long arduous month, and i for one am happy that it is finally ending,usually i enjoy the spirituality of the month, the idea of getting in touch with a greater being, the prayer etc, for some reason, this did not happen for me this year, i just could not get into the swing of things....for know i am happy to get back to the normal day to day existence.
presently i am drooling at the most decadent cupcakes ever, delivered by a family friend, for eid, but i think partaking of this treat will not wait until tomorrow, i have my sights clearly set on a strawberry confection, i am not sure what the traditions are in other countries, but in johannesburg, the big get together, happen on the day of eid, with us, the family usually arrives for lunch, and stay until the allure of the zoo lake beckons, speaking of which, i wish i could post some pictures, but i have not been to the zoo lake in years, the tradition is for people to congregate at the lake dressed in all their eid finery. to meet and great friends you have not seen in ages, during the apartheid era,this was a spot that people of "colour" could meet and mingle without fear of retribution from the authorities, people from outside the city would drive in to do the same, it saved you from attempting to visit a multitude of homes, the community just got together at the zoo lake. times have changed, families have grown, and each family has their own eid gathering,....so these days it's just the immediate family, everyone else drops by during the cause of the day , by the end of which exhaustion sets in, and you have to get ready for a working day,... the next day. i always wished we had a two day break, not so lucky.
the lunch menu in our home, is a huge green salad, chicken biryani, roast leg of lamb,desert is usually what you feel like at the time this year it is trifle. lots of nibbly things like samoosa's and pies, and sweets, all types, which is what usually goes first. the problem is your eyes, are usually bigger than your stomach, so as much as i wish to indulge in this excess, more often than not, i consume only what i can, it's a fun day for the kids, new shoes, new clothes, eidi,...that's the best part comparing how much money they can collect from adults in the day. then spending it on some toy, or as it happens bad burgers from the wimpy,and or MacDonald's. but that is what it is all about. family and friends and a holiday in the middle of the week with the people you love is always a good thing.
i would like to take the opportunity, and wish all those who read this blog a fantastic eid tomorrow, may you have the capacity to indulge in all the foods you craved throughout this month. have a fantastic day.
Friday, August 29, 2008
first steps
my favourite passtime
flying solo
first solo walk
imaan happy with her own company
azaad has become more comfortable moving on two legs. he came over this afternoon, and had great fun, walking around the office, as always my handbag created a good deal of fun, he gets his kicks out of emptying the contents,...the cell phone and car keys are his most prized find.
he walked around trying to reach the keyhole on any door, trying desperately to insert the key, at this age, (he is 14 months old), i am quite surprised that he really holds the key in the right direction, and even tries to insert it in the correct manner, must take after his aunt, suffice to say i did not get much work done this afternoon. not that i am complaining. watching him walk,a distance as opposed to from the couch to the coffee table is a real treat.he can identify people by name know, and is so lovable, azaad can i have a kiss, will mean that he moves his head towards you,he loves to gives hugs, and little imaan gets hugs and kisses regularly, every now and then he forgets his greater physicality, though it is good to watch him interact with his sister.he seems genuinely fond and loving to other kids, enjoying interacting with them, on Sunday he went around hugging and kissing all the kids that came to visit his little sister, i think he enjoyed all the smarties he was being fed by his cousins, one of the little boys was not so receptive to azaads affections, and he was rudely pushed away, if looks could kill, dadi looked like she could throttle the other guy, azaad just moved on to a friendlier kid, he is so loving, or i could just be biased.
imaan is starting to show more personality at two months, and is definitely more vocal than her older sibling, at present she enjoys lying down, and gurgles at the mobile above her head shoooo cute, aaaagh baby talk, never do it, i truly believe kids are more appreciative of and receptive to proper talk, baby speak is just so unbecoming and kids learn nothing of value from that type of conversation.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
2 months old
imaan almost two months old.
imaan is fast approaching her two month birthday. she is blossoming. for a little tyke whom her dad called little chicken, she is growing slowly but steadily. for a tiny squirmy thing she has huge lungs, it is really interesting for me to notice all the little differences between azaad and his sister.
she is more vocal, eats and sleeps more.she always has a ready smile, even in repose a little dimple appeares and she smiles. hopefully the dimple will remain. it's so cute.azaad was much more quite, didn't eat much, and was constantly alert, if he slept he might miss to much. dada has finally succumb, and will know pick up his grand daughter, she has lost that new born fragility, so he is more comfortable. they sit together chatting away, and she listens most attentively.
i can't wait to take them both off on a seaside vacation especially once imaan is old enough to come along, i have to wait another year i think.
unfortunately we see less of her as she refuses to take a bottle, so sleepovers and long visits while mum is busy, are not possible, can't wait till she is weened.
azaad starting taking his first solo steps, a little wiggle and shake then it's back on all fours, this happened while i was on holiday in umdloti, but ahmed brought them over the day we got back, it was so exciting to watch him waddle on his own.
watching these children grow and experience life is going to be a tremendous joy.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
FAMILY UPDATES
ASLEEP IN THE CAR SEAT. ONE MONTH OLD
IMAAN VISITING HER DADA AT HIS OFFICE
MY JUNGLE GYM...NO PLACE AT MY HOME, SO IT MOVED TO GRANDMA'S GARDEN
SAY CHEESE
have really not been in the mood for blogging off late. things are just too busy around here. we are finally beginning to see some end to this marathon renovation started in April last year.workmen are still on site, and we are desperately trying to achieve some semblance of normalcy.
Ahmed and his family, also moved home, my dad had his usual social Saturday lunches, and with all of that we were trying to settle down, with ongoing work being done to the house and office. i am in great need of chill out time, so mum and i are off to umdloti, yipeeeeee!!!.
Imaan reached her one month milestone, and is beginning to look a lot more filled out, i think she will be as cute as Azaad, unfortunately, she is not around as often, so the photo ops are not as often as azaad's. my family are quite freaked out by my little camera, it is never far from me, and i am permanently trying to get pictures of the little guy and his sister, so much so that every time he unpacks my handbag, Azaad hands me the camera with glee, his mum says, he looks for it as soon as he wakes in the morning, he stayed with us the week they moved house, and one morning, he unpacked the bag and handed me the camera, i aimed the lense and called out cheese, the result was gorgeous, he gave me a big toothy grin, at least he is happy with me and my camera :)
so i will be posting pics as i go along. at 13 months he is developing a personality,and the first thing he is learning is no, i suspect it is because more often than not, it is what we do with him constantly, although thank heavens, the everything in moderation rule applies here, simply, because i cannot stand children, who are refused everything at home, then once they are set free, in public spaces, or at someone elses home, they have no limits,i want my niece and nephew to learn that all things are possible, that there is a time and place for everything.and most importantly that patience is a virtue. they are still very young, but good habits can be taught early, and remain forever a part of who they are.
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About Me
- africanfragments
- johannesburg, gauteng, South Africa
- passionate bout all things literary. dislike, stupidity and insincerity.