Morons who vote.

I had to finally type out my thoughts, as a result of an uncomfortable conversation on Whats App, that made, (at least to me) the issue of White Privilege blatantly obvious.

I believe that I was witness to white anger and privilege, because of a conversation around the potential licence fees payable by owners of generators and solar power, whether we are on or off the grid. the travails of Eskom are well documented and the people and businesses of South Africa are suffering the results. I am not the first nor the last person in South Africa that bemoans the dire situation our State Run Enterprises are in, and I am certainly of the opinion that mis management and corruption, have resulted in much of our current issues. that being said, this is the sentence that has my dander up:

"so the way I see it-and I might be kicked off the group because of my opinion. if you still vote for those corrupt, thieving criminals who call themselves a political party with values then you are a moron. the ANC has entrenched themselves as a corrupt nepotism who relies on an uneducated mass to keep them in power-just like ZANU-PF"

We have in South Africa, both a constitution and policies in place that may be second to none, we have inherited the sins of a past that have not adequately been addressed or attended to, so when a man says that the present government is still intent on indulging it's bulimic urges, by over taxing it's people, I could say that the last regime did so in spades, and compensated only the privileged few.
Yet, you forget these issues, because lack of services are just the preserve of the privileged, and morons voted the bulimics in, were the privileged of the past morons to?

When a man of privilege is angered by lack of privilege, it no longer becomes worthy of intelligent discussion, as the perceived Masters voice, overrides any further discussion, from my perspective I will unpack what it is, and was to be the Moron,

white privilege, deprived the Moron of education, so it could create unskilled cheap labour, and servitude to the privileged. it then tiered colour, and allocated education accordingly, the Morons were deprived of hope and dreams, and were quickly taught that aspiration was illegal and non beneficial to privilege, privilege effectively kept out Morons from any participation in political or social thought.

White privilege  resided behind high walls, with manicured lawns, dogs, ample food, education, access to health, wealth, and a play ground bar non. the Morons were used to keep the privilege going.

However Morons survived on the dream of freedom, of hope, of aspiration of one day being counted and allowed into an elite group of green lawns, tennis courts, and pampered poodles, one day the raised fist and movement of the Moron made dreams and hopes possible, and the Morons voted, for the right to dream and aspire.

We the Morons have joined an elite group of privileged, yet the door still remains shut, we will continue to be Morons, because the hues that make us brown and black and in between, will forever be the benchmark upon which our actions are judged.

Now we shall go back in history a little, where a little brown girl was born into the hell of her brown skin, she didn't know what privilege was, her Father laboured in jobs where he was just another Koolie, who was barred from the whites only toilet, or the lunch room, where his skill and brains were utilised, but he would forever be Koolie, that he raised his children to know their worth, to raise that first for the dream of freedom and hopes and access, where education was denied him, so he toiled to provide that privilege for his children.

The brown girl was thirteen when privilege was revealed, she knew struggle, she knew police raids, she knew door to door campaigns, she had no garden, no poodle, no tennis court, she wore a uniform boarded a bus, from which she was barred, but a certain privilege came with that uniform, and it opened a different world, of children who did not know struggle, who thought Indians were the dark people in Durban, who cleaned the toilets on Whites only Beaches,
Privileged children who could tell the curry muncher to go back to India, who ate Drie Hoek Koelie Koekies with relish but had a learnt dislike for Brown People, who's parents voted for a "Bullimic government", that provided for the privileged only, and saw nothing wrong with taxing the eventual Morons, to keep their hunger for privilege alive, and the suburbs and the infrastructure going to keep those privileged happily living in paradise.

That brown girl, never played a sport, she did not know how, she lived in a rented flat, in a brown demarcated space, and her friends were those who had an idea of what life as a Moron was like, there were no pool parties, after school visits or invitations for the brown girl on the fringes of privilege.

Fast forward to present century, when the Morons were let out of Prison and exile and the rest of the Morons stood up on mass to vote in, a better life, the privileged packed their bags for greener pastures, where they could remain privileged and their children could have poodles and tennis courts and green lawns, and the Gods smiled on them, they were skilled, educated and white, they had access to passports and money and off they went.

the Morons have remained, but today we have some benefits of privilege, houses with lawns, marriages of our choice not dictated by race, access to jobs, housing and education, we have freedom of movement, we have passports that say South African Ciizen, we can travel, we have freedom of Speech and religion, we can go to the beaches, we can visit the game reserves and have a choice of accommodations, we can use the toilets, we can eat in restaurants and frequent hotels, we can dream and dance and sing, we are Human Morons, and we have the privilege of the vote, and why would we vote for the Bullimic, nepotistic, thieving corrupt ANC?

They brought us hope and dignity and humanity, because they provided what Privilege denied, because they created the dream of a South Africa for all her people, and yes they have become corrupt, and have failed with much, but what the privileged fail to see, is the creation of a dream of a better human future, which reduces some of the comfort of the privileged, which the Morons have never sort to deny, but to have an equal share in. Morons now have access to a life previously denied.

Morons can vote, Morons can speak up when government fails to deliver or provide adequately, the constitution and government policy puts the Moron in a position to effect change correctly.


I am therefore proud to be a Moron, not an uneducated mass Moron, but a Moron who still has hope, and who wants the best for all of South Africa, the Privileged are angry and disgruntled because things are just not that comfortable any more, but if you could have spent a day, in the shoes of the little brown girl, you may understand why Morons vote, and why Morons will continue to vote.

Morons are not Koolies with prized pastry treats, Morons are human beings that want nothing more than a better life, so when privilege gets angry and confrontational, you should walk in the Morons shoes for a day, and remember the words of James Baldwin:
"we can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist"

Morons don't vote for failing infrastructure, Morons vote for the hope of a better future, and when your past was robbed of hope, and any kind of a future, it is then clear where you will vote, education is not an indication of intelligence or voting trends. and it is not always productive to think of uneducated masses as being easily swayed by political rhetoric, it certainly didn't work for maintaining privilege in South Africa, so perhaps it is time, to change the way you think and deal with the gift that is white privilege.

letter of condolence to the Mandela Family

6th of December 2013
Houghton, Johannesburg.
The Mandela Family, Mrs Graca Machel

We offer our condolences and love on the passing of Tata, Madiba, a much loved member of our family and the father of our nation.

He was a father, a leader, strong, honorable and always humble. The list of adjectives describing Tata and the men and women of his era would be endless. We salute and pray for all of those who sacrificed their lives, their families and so much more, for the right of future generations to be born free, born into a democratic inclusive South Africa, as enshrined in our constitution.

We pray that Allah gives your family strength to endure your loss during this difficult time. We pray that the love and support of the people of South Africa brings you solace. We celebrate and rejoice with you, a life well lived. the life of a great, humble and much beloved man. A true dedicated son of Africa, a citizen of the world. his sacrifice, love and sheer bloody mindedness, gave us a gift that all South Africans should cherish and never forget, lessons in strength, forgiveness, patience, perseverance and LOVE, always love.

May his sacrifice and true humanity never be forgotten. The opening verse of the Quran reads as follows:

"In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.  Praise be to Allah the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds, most Gracious, most Merciful.  Master of the day of judgement. Thee do we worship and thyne aid do we seek, show us  the straight way, the way of those on whom, thou has bestowed thy grace, those whose (portion)  is not wrath, and who go not astray."

Madiba epitomised these words, he lived the courage of his convictions, faced his accusers with grace and dignity, both he and his compatriots broke the chains that enslaved and dehumanised a nation. He was, and will always remain a PROPHET of his time. Praise be to Allah for gifting the world such a man

Madiba remembered the little things, he made us feel that we were a part of his family, on the passing of our grandfather (Goolam Pahad), together with his beloved Graca, he made the time to visit our home. He shared our grief, reminded us of our rich heritage, and above all encouraged us to be better human beings, to walk that long walk to freedom, side by side, to cast aside our aprons,(in Madiba's words) as my grandmother did (Amina Pahad) and fight for a free, non racial democratic South Africa. This was the man, under whose shadow we cut our struggle teeth; who during his incarceration, became the force behind our fight to bring down Apartheid, and in his presence we were humbled. Today we share your grief and we pray that Allah gives him everlasting peace.  

In the words of Sékou Touré, in an address to the Second Congress of Black Artists and Writers in Rome 1959:

 "To take part in the African revolution it is not enough to write a revolutionary song; you must fashion the revolution with the people, and if you fashion it with the people, the songs will come by themselves, and of  themselves. In order to achieve real action, you must yourself be a living part of Africa and of her thought; you must be  an element of that popular energy which is entirely called forth for the freeing, the progress and the happiness of Africa, there is no place outside that fight for the artist or for the intellectual who is not himself  concerned with and completely at one with the people in the great battle of Africa and of suffering humanity"

Madiba and those of his era discovered their mission, they fulfilled it, thus realising the dreams, hopes and aspirations of a nation. and those of a continent, and dare I say it, the world.

We salute your true humanity, grace and courage, and pray that as a nation we fulfill our obligations and the mission before us.

With much love and respect
Hamba Kahle Madiba, may you have eternal peace.

Rouhana Pahad
6/12/2013  

my new nephew

I am a lazy blogger, there is no doubt about that. my initial great enthusiasm, has dwindled to a doodle annually. however I would be remiss, if I did not welcome beautiful Aadam Pahad to our family.
he is a four months old, heavy bundle of joy, chubby, serious, with a gorgeous smile.And when he  smiles, it can rock the world.
there is no doubt that he takes after his father. so welcome to the family gorgeous nephew,
may your life be blessed with much laughter, love and happiness. you are undoubtedly a blessing and a joy to this family, and we welcome you with open arms and infinite love.

with my mummy(Faeeza Adam), doting cousin(Iman), and foa(Yaseen)

on the day I was born, cuddly and warm.

with my Dada(Nassim Pahad), growing and happy

I am a boxing champ, get outa my face.

may your life, always be blessed, and may you know, that your Aunt and doting Uncle, are always there for you, especially on those days, when you pack your cheese and bread,

run away from home, our doors and hearts will always be open to you, just cross the street carefully, and all will be well. I will only call your daddy, after you have a good cry, some milk and a sandwich, and then we will twist daddy's arm, so that you get a sleep over.

love you madly and absolutely
your proud Foi

post mandela day...

umdloti beach, north coast Durban

Boy!!! was i glad TO SEE THE END OF MANDELA DAY.  don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing community service, and those that give of their time are to be respected and applauded. if you have read any of my previous blogs, you would definitely realise that i have a real issue with the outcome of governance in our young democracy.

and the point is, that we have a right to voice our dissatisfaction, because that is what democracy is all about, freedom of speech, unless i really have the wrong end of the stick. and recent happenings, regarding art work, which exposed President Zumas genitalia, or cartoons that offend the ruling party, were lambasted, and there were demands for them to be banned, and the artists to be punished.
pray tell, what is the difference between that, and the gagging and banning orders of the past.
however i digress, the reason i am waxing lyrical here, is because of an altercation between myself, and another social network user on FACE BOOK (FB).

for some reason, every comment made or opinion raised in this country, is dismissed as the haves (usually anybody south African, who is not an indigenous "black" person"), against the have not's( usually poor/underprivileged indigenous "black" people) . get my point, everything gets turned into a racial issue. i am now of the opinion, that "indigenous black" south Africans, are decidedly more racist, with a big chip on their shoulders that no amount of freedom, has been able to expunge.

since when did, having to work hard or be honest, or just giving back, have anything to do with being privileged or racist, what follows, is the dialogue (if i can call it that) between myself and one Flo Fikile Dlamini. (obviously indigenous black woman). i am so called "black" as per the previous dispensation, of Indian origin, and therefore was subjected to the same prejudices, oppressions, and disadvantages suffered by all people of colour, in South Africa,

ahmed iqbal cajee: why are we asked to donate 67 minutes why not 94 minutes?

flo fikile dlamini: 67 minutes to correspond to his 67 years he gave to politics.

mariam mayet: did you not come out of prison at age 67.

rouhana pahad: and how would a  donation of any number of hours, for one day in a year, help anybody? instead of donating our time, why not actually do our jobs with respect and integrity, that might benefit our country greatly.

salim jeewa: its because he spent 67 years of his life in the struggle.....i do believe.

rouhana pahad: we all know that...my point being, celebrating Madibas 67 years, by doing community service for 67 minutes, once a year, is a band aid, respecting his 67 yearsby being honest, and respecting each other, by doing what we are paid to do, now thats priceless.

flo fikile dlamini: well, is there anyone pointing a gun to your forehead, Rouhana, compelling you against your will to participate in the 67 minutes campaign? if there's anyone compelling you at the point of a gun, then theres the police station near you, i suppose.

you're free to do your job with respect and integrity for the mighty benefit of sorely threadbare South Africa of the holy virtues of being. probably the uncivilised natives would never even appreciate the enormous contribution of your request and integrity that you'll bequeath unto them.

anil sewpersad: PHARD

rouhana pahad: well Flo, you obviously have a gripe against something. and have certainly misunderstood me. you don't get the point. until we stop with this type of attitude 67 minutes a year wont help any.

anil sewpersad: quite honestly speaking, I COULDN'T wait to see THE BACK OF TODAY!!!!!!

Flo fikile dlamini: obviously, i couldn't understand you for you have such transcendental, cosmic, intellect :-(

rouhana pahad: Ah Flo, flattery will get you far, transcendental= a visionary beyond your grasp, cosmic= of the universe, not just earth, intellect= person of good understanding, faculty of knowing and reasoning, i am truly flattered thank you.   

judging from this rather ridiculous "dialogue" ( cat fight) i embarrass myself by degenerating into an argument with an idiot. how on earth my comments meant that the "uncivilised natives" were in need of my "holy virtues".

unless I'm mistaken, religious issues were not discussed, my point being only, that if each of us, South African citizens, regardless of race, colour or creed, in public or private sector employment, did what we were employed to do with respect and consideration for all our people, that we take pride in what we do without looking for the early Christmas bonus, that would benefit our country as a whole, it would mean, that funding, that should reach the poor, the disadvantaged, would get to their intended recipients.

my only understanding of this entire ridiculous discussion, is that Flo, who is possibly an attorney or in the legal profession is not very bright. she resorted to what all stupid, racist people would do, and that is turned a perfectly innocent comment into a racial issue. down the river into Conrad's HEART OF DARKNESS.

WE ARE 22 YEARS INTO DEMOCRACY, and unless south Africans can get over our racial issues, and stop resorting to crying wolf, every time, we are called upon to do what is right for this country, for all who live in her, regardless of race, colour and creed, we will never succeed. these stupid arguments highlight the fact that "blackness" has become a crutch and an excuse for mediocrity.
we really need to get over ourselves and see the bigger picture.

so to Flo i say, reading and comprehension are not the same thing, you need to read with an open an understanding mind, being bogged down by crying race, every time something affects you, will not a greater nation make. being aware of our shortcomings, then working damned hard, to overcome them, might be the better option.

peace and love...   

MANDELA DAY 18/07/2012

Mandela Day is here again. 1990 was the year a smiling hopefull man, walked toward his freedom, and, we believed, our own freedom from oprression, racism, apartheid. 22 years ago, my heart rejoiced, and i sang, danced and cried with millions of South Africans. the feeling was indescribable, a load lifted from the shoulders of a joyous hopefull nation. Mandela managed to unite a rainbow nation, we rallied, we forgave, won the rugby world cup, almost managed at cricket, hosted a football world cup. became true citizens of a free democratic South Africa. all this without a civil war. that was Mandela's legacy. that was the ANC'S legacy, Bhiko's legacy, the legacy of our liberation movement, and all who served her. have we managed to live up to that legacy? have we made ourselves proud. i think not, ordinary South Africans are giving back, we work hard, pay our tax, give to charity, of our time and money. do our 67 minutes of community service on the 18th of july every year. we collect for the hungry, run soup kitchens, give out blankets, plant trees, paint schools. we try to live up to the "liberation Legacy". in return we live with increased crime levels, failing infrastructure, no schooling or bad schooling. LIMPOPO, has been in the news on the textbook scandal, schools have no books, and the elected officials are placing orders, dumping books, and stealing the money, is this what we fought for?. who are these people and how did they get the positions they are in?, our police commissioners are corrupt, government employees are corrupt. and we are collecting more revenue through SARS, then we have in the past. There is never enough funding to do anything, yes the money has to reach a greater number of people, yes, there is more upliftment required, however, even though SARS, is collecting sufficiently, and then some ,enough to address all our infrastructure, and social issues. we still have a problem. the problem: 1. the favours for friends, 2. elected officials who are brain dead, 3. just in it for the pay packet. 4.lovers who get free five star holidays, 5. a president with A HAREM that needs to be paid for. ( mind you thats his culture). 6. an ANC, that is decidedly rascist, and resorting to gangsterism. 7. foreign beggars on street corners every where. foreigners competing with our own poor for scarce resourcers. these are just a few of our travails. regardless of the fact that educated people, liken foreign traders today, to the immigrants that built this country, we need to look at the failing of the authorities to screen the type of immigrant entering our country today, they are no longer an asset, rather they have recreated the slums and dumps of their own countries. there is no adherence or respect for city by laws, they are not in the system, so are not contributinmg to our tax base, they do increase drug trafficking, prostitution, racketeering, money laundering and the like, nothing can be done about it, because our corrupt officials are seeing the money, and not the long term harm it does to this country. human rights organisations plead the case for the many Somalis, bangladeshi's, nigerian's, chinese etc, that should not be here in the first place, did you forget that South African citizens are suffering as a result, what happened to uplifting our own people?, why arent you fighting government to keep election promises to the poor of this country? We are rejoicing at the election of the AU's first female head, a first for South Africa and the World, hell journalists, are touting her as SA'S next female president, Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma,...help us please. Mrs Zuma was minister of Home affairs, we havent recovered from the mess that is the department of home affairs. in the scant TV interviews i have watched, she is barely coherent, intelligence deficit disorder, perhaps? i am all for women to be elected to positions on the world arena, to positions within the governments of their home countries, i am more in favour of electing capable, intelligent, honest people into position, regardless of race, colour or creed, that is the democracy i fought for. that is not the domocracy i am living in. on this Mandela day, my wish is that our elected officials, and people employed in the public sector, start giving back to the country and its people rather than taking. why can't the salaries you earn, sustain your lifestyles?, why do we need to be blinded by greed, and making the easy money?. on this Mandela day, give back to your communities and the people of South Africa, by doing the jobs your are employed and elected to do, if your family and friends are not sufficiently educated or capable of doing a job, dont give them the job, look to people who will be an asset rather then a drain. learn to speak and communicate in English, do yourselves proud, by doing a good job, there is nothing to be proud of when your job, is dependent on your skin colour, that boils down to tokenism, be proudly South African by just doing your work. maybe 67 minutes a year, is better then nothing at all. i spent my day, by doing my job efficiently,(according to me) thus contributing towards the fiscus,now, hopefully my money will be utilised with respect, and reach the places it should. our government needs to step up, or be elected out. the problem is, that the replacements will be no better. perhaps if we ordinary citizens, looked upon our jobs as an asset, and work efficiently and with pride, with customer service as our obligation, if we treated each other with repect, by doing what we are paid to do, it would have a profound effect on our country, its people, its governance and most importantly those who govern. our jobs, our professions, are not just a meal ticket. be proudly South African, and not just for 67 minutes, once a year. that is not the Mandela legacy. WE HAVE A CHOICE, EXCERCISE IT.

onward from woolly mammoth

we moved into our own home in december 2011, our first family meal, christmas lunch. as you can see, i am very much in favour of the colour red, so there you have it red walls, and christmas, we love entertaining, and having family and friends over. slowly but surely our home is developing its character,small and compact, we have a lock up and go, which means the folks house, has ready made house sitters, looking forward to spending more time in our own home. GDH, is usually travelling or at the army, which leaves me home alone, mind you i am definitely not complaining. we have as yet not received any rates accounts,thanks to the great services rendered by the johannesburg city council, pretty soon i am sure to get a service cut off notice, despite our repeated attempts to get an account to pay. one has got to love living in the third world...as the pot holes increase, so the holes in all our government departments show up, we know you are in it to steal it, can someone please be in it, to steal a portion and put some back so things can work.. pretty soon, the beautiful natural attractions, and wonderful weather, are not going to be sufficient panacea against the misery our elected thieves are perpetuating. BRA JACOB, is definitely never getting my vote for a second term. in fact for a right royal looser, he is getting better treatment and a lot more respect then Mr Mbeki, just goes to show, democracy is a wasted enterprise in some places.

one year and counting

who would have thought it, thats us on our first wedding anniversary, enjoying gale force winds in capetown, not called the windy city for no reason. in four months, it will be our second anniversary, and now i begin to notice the conditioning, subtle but we are conditioned. i work a full day, so does my husband, when we get home, there is a total difference in our approach to the rest of the day, take yesterday as an example, he was home earlier then i, our helper, whom we have twice a week, had just left, he got busy with model airplanes, down in his man cave, i got home around 6pm, a full days work, and niece and nephews bathtime behind me,..(their parents are on a trip), i got home, got started with dressing our bed in clean linen, checking the house was neat and tidy,then off to the kitchen to get dinner started, he called to find out when dinner would be ready. around an hour or so later, hubby was up, looking for dinner, why was it instinctive on my part to do what i was doing, and he was happy to do things to releave his work day tension, somehow when we get married, it just seems that our work load trebbles, he has time, for manicures and pedicures, boys nights, and bike rides, it seems i am always fussing about cleaning house, or doing the laundry, or seeing to dinner. looking after the house, while he has army duty or is on a business trip. i am decidedly of the opinion that men are conditioned to take care of themselves and relax, while we (the women) are always struggling to find time, for down time. marriage is exhausting work, women are a superior breed...

To my adorable niece on the occassion of your fourth birthday. when you arrived the face of an angel was painted on lifes canvas. your dimpled smile and tender heart have become our gifts, and we knew with certainty, there was, "no more,WHY after that" may you always be blessed with love and generosity of spirit, nurture and care for all around you. we wait with great joy, to see you blossom into a beautiful,loving,caring young woman.Iman, a woman of strong faith. all our love, Foi,Yaseen Foajee,(aka Albert,Foa)

ramadaan...almost half way there

can't say that at this point in the month of ramadaan i don't wish it was over already,..the wierd sleeping pattern has taken it's toll, i'm up at 4.40am..bright as a button, (whoever believes that is crazy)..yawning and streching make my way to the kitchen, to put Sehri on the table for GDH,..and my Dad...the usual fare is a bowl of jungle oats, it can be swallowed no need for chewing, and tea or coffee, whatever the favoured poison.

me..i unpack the dishwasher, reload it for the next run, swallow some water, and bleary eyed make my way back to bed, it's a helluva long month, and if another person, wishes to recount, how wonderful and easy it is, i have a short walk to the baseball bat,..and i can use it for purposes other than hitting a ball.

as you can see, this is the month, in which i should be meditating and turning my attention to all things spiritual,..instead i am itching to use the baseball bat, it would be bliss, if you can fit the spiritual, meditative, prayer thing ,into a full work day, then cooking and cleaning up, and after the first taste of water and kajoor hits your belly, all you want to do is sigh, stretch out and sleep, then there are the maghrieb, and Isha prayers that follow, lets not forget the tarawi prayer....but let me not be untruthfull, i much prefer reading and reciting my Quran, then spending time in congregational tarawi salah, so shoot me for being an errent muslim, but some things are easier said then done.

at this point, 16h03..i am feeling the cry of hunger in my belly, and try as i might, my concentration is impaired,...and i cannot bring myself to do anything mentally challenging, i believe prayer would be included in that, so i will make my way to the kitchen, in the vain hope that preparing our Iftaar dinner would take the edge of the hunger pangs, and physical activity, will erase them as well, pity tasting the fair has to wait, oh well as you can see, a believer i am, albeit slighlty errent, not very good with completing the 5 daily prayers, but emboldened by faith and love, and all the beauty that is Allah subahana wataallah. something i read, and am now repeating here,

"I WAS A HIDDEN TREASURE AND I WILLED TO BE KNOWN, SO I CREATED THE UNIVERSE"
And that universe, is magical and perfect, and in that, lies my soul, my belief and my joy, so here i am imperfect, not outwardly perfect, but truly in love with Allah,..and the boundless blessings he bestows,..so as my stomach rumbles and i complain, i thank the Almighty for the pleasure of being able to enjoy my Iftaar dinner, and i ask that he hastens the time until dusk...

settling down....

married bliss. began in a one bedroom flat, with couches that looked like the woolly mammoth, we are now working on finalising the transfer details to our new home, who thought that purchasing a house would be a right royal pain in the ass.
show day went something like this: pouring buckets of rain, cold wet, grey unappealing day, but we run for cover and buzz the doorbell, the current owners are relocating, so the signs of packing are everywhere, on the surface the house looks fine, GDH, tries to open a window and the blind falls off, so the estate agent gets a bit antsy, which makes me blurt out to GDH, not to touch things, and thus our viewing of the house commences, me on tenterhooks, that hubby does not knock something over, he aggravated, as we should be able to touch , open, poke and prod, after all it's a show day, we never get to see the outbuildings as the weather is foul, and i am very conscious of bringing in the weather, on somebody elses property. so we have a rather cursory inspection and leave.

however the house feels like it will suit our needs, and we are keen to place an offer, before doing so, GDH, goes to inspect the property again, for major items, like the roof etc, to see that there are no big defects, satisfied, we call the agent, request the house plans, and make our offer, they only disclose one section of underfloor heating that has been out of order, satisfied with that, we don't note anything further on the offer to purchase, but we do verbally let the agent know that we will need to go around again to check for any further issues we might find, no problem they say, as the seller's are good people. we pay the deposit, and make arrangements to go to the property again.

i notice little things, like the household rubbish, old furniture, broken ladders old paint tins, it's another miserable day, and i am feeling harrassed and unhappy about this house, we don't get to see the back rooms, as the domestic worker is in there doing her cooking, grey walls, grey day, so i come home a little deflated. to make matters worse the bond application is becoming an excercise in futility, so we get the extension, and because the bond is taking longer than expected, we ask the estate agent in, to change the terms from bond, to cash/bank guaranteed payment, at that meeting i bring up, the mess in the back, and we are assured it will be taken care off, we also mention that we will inspect the house and if there are any issues, we will bring them up, for the seller to fix, no problem, we are assured all will be attended to.

the transferring attorney's, take some time in coming back to us, with the requirements for the bank guarantee, so we wait, eventually they do with some small errors, and we arrange the necessary, the estate agent keeps the commission, transfers the balance of our deposit to the attorney, then we are told that the problems we noted with the house have been there since the seller moved in,..we have still not inspected the back rooms, as on our next visit, the domestic is at a funeral and the room is locked, the rubbish is still there, apparently belonging to the domestic worker, to be moved when she vacates. so if we want repairs done, we are to pay the full market value on occupational rent, not the agreed upon amount, and we should accept things as is,so now despite the new consumer act, getting our attorney involved, and the back and forth toing and froing, we are still in transfer limbo.

apparently , Estate Agents are no better then used car salesmen, and sellers who get there price, don't give a rats ass, to ensure that the property they are selling behoves the price they are getting, there seems to be no integrity, and our fault was not checking out the house with a fine tooth comb before making the offer, but who can see unfinished plaster work behind appliances, or checks every handle on every window before making an offer, these things become apparent, once the house has been emptied.

the estate agent believes we are defaming them, i believe not,..i haven't called them crooks, i just want them to make good on the verbal conversations we had, apparently it's all here say, so we are on the take it or leave it page, oh, and if we leave it we are still to pay the agent their commission..hehehe!!!...and the consumer protection act is all hogwash, since we seem to have no recourse there, go figure that one.

GDW...just does not care anymore, i just want to have my house so i can do the setting up nest thing, found some great fabric to upholster the chairs with, and fabric for curtains..now i just need to get in there to get things done...i am dreaming paint and furniture and stoves, and a big clean up operation, however we are still at the mercy of transfering attorneys and estate agents. i understand that any home you buy is never perfect, they become what you make of them, all i want is to start my makeover, is that to much to ask?,...if there are things that the seller needs to do, why would that be so difficult....oh well, i will be patient, and wait to start building ney preparing my nest, hopefully once all this is done, mama weaver bird, will not be throwing the papa weaver out...GDH...i hope is not to concerned..:)

happy with life..thanking God for small blessings

staring at the blank screen, trying to rack my brain, thinking of something interesting enough to blog about, it has been 10 months since i tied the knot.GDH..is well thank you, GDW, is contemplating the moving of our house, we have everything in storage, and are currently at my folks, not bad i might add, there is someone else to help do the cooking,...and it's a lot easier, many hands make light work.

much to my amazement GDH, is thoroughly enjoying his stay with the in laws, we have taken to nightly scrabble matches with little brother and his wife, and it surprises me, that we are so competitive, it's quite addictive,..just like marriage. my good friend Ashantha, has just accepted a proposal of marriage, so it seems that the institution is quite contagious,i can here it..love is in the air...wasn't that a Neil Diamond ditty, they love him at OR Tambo International, his crooning could be heard, as we dropped GDH at the airport for the umpteenth time, in our short but happy marriage. and yes, my sister in law..GDH'S sister that is,(the English language fails to differentiate which side of the family we are referring to)..reminded me that babies can only be made by having Sex,..for that GDH, needs to be in the country at the very least,..now that i have overcome my wedding phobia(not quite true)..i am dealing with,do we hear the patter of little feet?, is there a bun in the oven?,..can we make baby plans?,do people just have their radar focused in one direction, a linear one at that, marriage, then babies. granted i am getting on in years, so the luxury of time does not exist anymore.

hell i have just gotten used to the idea of sharing my bed,..finally after the last trip to OR Tambo, i felt the empty presence beside me, and realised that i have settled into marriage, and missed the sneezing, snoring bulk, the comforting body heat, next to me..now i have to contemplate the idea, of another tiny entity disrupting my idyllic life. but as sister in law pointed out, "your husband needs to be around for that"..i have a better idea, the next trip is in early September, so i have decided to pack my bags in anticipation..wait till GDH, gets wind of the plans i have afoot.

our next big step, will be moving into our newly purchased, old house, in the suburb of Norwood, another nightmare for GDW, one would imagine, at the prices we pay, the last owner could have at least, seen to the fact that the windows have handles...the joys of home ownership...and the irritation of unscrupulous real estate agents, and uncaring sellers, oh well, this is South Africa, and that should be no excuse for bad service, but i think we are inured to accepting the mediocre.

i am looking forward to the move, which will not happen for another three months, give or take the time it takes to transfer property in our fine country, so i will enjoy gatecrashing GDH'S business trip, extend it by 10 days and create a nice holiday around China, from Shanghai to Beijing...surprise, surprise.

a government of racists

It’s quite shocking that after getting rid of a government and system which prided itself on it’s racist, divisive principles we are back to square one with the likes of government spokesman Jimmy Manyi.

Who are all these creepy, stupid people who have just crawled out of the woodwork, and are now the rank and file of the ANC? Is it not enough that we suffer the likes of Julius Malema, now we have to listen to the rantings of the likes of Manyi and Paul Ngobeni? These are the voices of our new government, those that are in charge of making the decisions that will govern the future of ALL South Africans, the once respected ANC, has become no better than the regime we fought so hard to destroy.
Has the ANC, have moved so far away from the principles of non-sexism, non-racialism, and building a united democratic South Africa? What would our respected leaders; Nelson Mandela, Joe Slovo, Walter Sisulu, Doctor Dadoo, Chief Albert Lulthuli, to name but a few; think of this unacceptable behaviour? What happened to the belief in a country that supports the rights of all who live in it? South Africa has become a haven for quick enrichment and entitlement without due consideration for the people of this country.

We are a South Africa, bent on enriching cronies and fat cat politicians and we have moved so far away from the principles that toppled a despotic regime? We will someday, in the not so distant future, be looking down the barrel of a gun. The people of South Africa will not tolerate such obviously racist and divisive sentiment for much longer? The politicians are all jockeying to play down these rumblings as they need votes for the upcoming elections. The problem is that, we the voters are not stupid. The party should grow some balls, and rid itself of these selfish, greedy imbeciles before they take our promising future down the toilet with them.

instead of vying to spin doctor away these, noxious elements, get rid of them. At least Trevor Manual is still principled enough to openly respond to Manyi's racist comments. Our leaders will be be cringing in their graves at such obvious prejudice: "Indians bargaining their way to the top", Western Cape "coloureds" flooding the jobs market. These guys are all on the gravy train, and have the audacity to claim that they are speaking on behalf of the South African people. Well they are not speaking on my behalf.

Is this the face and a cover story we present to the world? Whatever happened to the principles of being fair and non-prejudiced to all who live in this country.
Nelson Mandela and the erstwhile leaders of our nation were fighting against domination of both black and white, in fact domination of any kind? Why then are the ANC and our Government so hell bent on supporting these offensive human beings. The aim should be the promotion and advancement of South Africa, not the promotion and advancement of a BUNCH OF NITWITS. Who only have the job, because they know somebody, who new somebody else. Both Jacob Zuma and the ministers under his wing, should be truly ashamed, and for once in their lives, live up to the principles that South Africans fought and died for. The Moral Compass, is totally lacking and must be recalibrated.

The fact is that we are lacking direction from any real leadership from these guys who are so hell bent on lining their pockets, that we are losing our principles, and the country is slipping into decay. This hardly makes a bleep on their radar What kind of a country, who's public face is so proudly racist, do we present to the world? And we are arrogant enough to want a permanent seat on the United Nations Security Council....if i was any self-respecting head of state, I would never be able to second any such request.

How is the present ANC government any better than the despots in Egypt, Libya or Zimbabwe? BEE has become the swear word to hide the radical chasm growing within the ANC. It is all about elections and personal enrichment and principles have been forsaken for a ride on the "GRAVY TRAIN". And it is only the country and its people that will suffer the consequences of racism and prejudice.

SHAME ON ALL OF YOU......if you want my vote, this is definitely not how you will get it.

BOUAZIZ THE AWAKENING IN NORTH AFRICA

Tunisian sympathies for a lowly vegetable seller sent there erstwhile dictator scurrying for shelter in Riaad, strange how the worlds dictators in one form or another head to the most repressed capital in the world for succour, idi Armin did it, the Tunisian is hold up there as well,Mubarak he is probably going to pay the queen a visit, since his billions have been ferreted away in the united kingdom, for the day the Egyptians rise from their political coma,

and indeed they did the 27/01/2011, will be a day the Egyptians will remember for years to come, hopefully since they have risen from their politically apathetic state, they will have the confidence, to hold on and ensure that Mubarak becomes history, and moves to England where he will sip champagne, shop at Harrods, and make regular trips to the bank to check that his billions are secure.

the images of tahrir square broadcast by the likes of Al Jazeera, BBC, sky, and CNN, makes on realise, that it is not just all about cake, Marie Antoinette lost her head, Mubarak i am sure wants to keep his, the reality is, that when the masses reach saturation point, and poverty and hunger prevails, the head of a dictator is sure to roll, the stupidity of the human race is, that dictators never learn from the lessons history teaches, their greed and lust for power, makes them blind, deaf and dumb to the rumbles at grassroots levels, maybe if they came down from their lofty perches every now and then to smell the manure on the ground they would not cling to power so avariciously.

Hosni, get the message, your people want both you and Gamal out, so eat some humble pie, hand in your resignation, retire to Kensington, and entertain the queen to tea, the Egyptians will be happy, and perhaps finally, free and fare elections will see a new dispensation elected by the people, for the people, and Egypt can rise out of its coma, to be a respected country and a valuable part of the African continent once again.

we live in hope that the Turks, Algerians, Jordanians, Moroccans, are paying careful attention to the rumbles of hungry bellies, that the desperation of poverty and the absence of respect for human beings will eventually rise up to defeat the despot.

wedding bells and cockle shells

ITS ALL ABOUT THE SMILE....


THERE IS A RING..AND MOST DEFINITELY THE ABSENCE OF BLING...
BUT NO TRAVELLING PANTS...:) THE ENGAGEMENT.

October 2010...was when the wedding bells told for me, and my greatest stress was that the travelling wedding pants, having been banned from baby brothers wedding would definitely not see the light of day on this one.

shortly after little brother made his intentions known, my dad turned his beady eyes on the only single sibling left, and said, "my dear what are your plans?",.."you cannot be dating forever, not good for you or Albert. predictably i was off to dinner with boyfriend to discuss the matter, long term dating is never an option in the Indian family, being Muslim, makes it all the more trying, not to mention all the snoopy men at mosque, were trying to fish out the seriousness of our relationship.

so over serious dinner discussion, do not ask me where or when, i fail to remember such trivial things, we decided..(much to my surprise, marriage being definitely not on my radar)to become MR and MRS, no, not Smith,...i am months later still wondering what all the bruhaha is all about, the news of impending nuptials spread faster, then a brush fire in the Australian outback, i got calls from excited family and friends thanking God, calling on his greatness, for saving the last spinster in the family from the inglorious state of singledom, God had finally made me accept a marriage proposal and all was well with the world again.

i am now of the opinion, that being single was not considered "lekker", and it was possibly a punishment from God,...you think i might attain heaven now that i am a Mrs,..God i hope you are listening, if you are, could i win the lottery please? a million would do nicely thank you.

it came to pass, in a rather low key affair (by Indian standards)on the 6th of February 2010, i became an engaged woman,...we were truly moving into the rainbow nation, Albert is of Portuguese and Afrikaans decent, and i am a true blue Gujarati,..my ancestry could have some Arab or Chinese thrown in who knows,..
my mother in law, put a pretty gold chain around my neck, my fiance a pretty diamond ring on my finger, and without the long drawn out speeches, and prayers thanking the Gods, without ululating, or any of the grand fanfair that goes with the occasion, i had committed myself to....MARRIAGE!!!....oh dear.

understandably my mother was rather quiet, a little smile but no great enthusiasm, well, i had been with her for 41 long years, and now what the hell was i doing?, in that moment i was being dazzled by diamond rings..ok, ok..i am not that mercenary, and poor husband is yet to cough up the goodies, that comes with marrying into an Indian family,...what did you think we gave away our daughters cheaply,...oh dear me no.

The run up to the wedding was the right royal pain in the ass i thought it would be, there was no chance of missing out at the office to plan a wedding, so it all got done, in between moments, there is a reason, i don't like weddings, and my own was proving to be no different, the dress, the hair, the venue, the caterer, the list is endless, and oh the guest list, which lead to many an argument, i was pushing for 100 guests, my dad was "you cannot get away with under 300", 300, i don't know 300 people, and really all i was interested in was the party, we settled on the 2nd of October 2010, which coincidentally, ok i lie, by no mere coincidence is also the 45th wedding anniversary of my parents, who i am sure after many an argument, all wedding related, could not wait for the 2nd to come fast enough. getting rid of me was proving to be acceptable, and at some point, they were willing to do this for free and for gratis.

as luck would have it, i could not have been bothered with a dress, thanks to the generosity of Aadil, who called the dress guy, Michael and finally pushed me into going to check him out, we were on the road to dress heaven...my only brief, i do not want to look like a meringue. i also did not relish the thought of a gazillion dress fittings, which are aggravating and the damned dress always looks crap, since i was lazy, i also got some fabric, prior to seeing Michael, and went off to another clients recommendation, just 1km up the road, the long and the short of it was that i ended up with two wedding dresses, not having the heart to tell Chantal..that i had another dress, when i got her bill, i realised my inability to say no, had just cost me a small fortune, no matter i now have another dress, that i will never wear again, but hey it rocked on the night.

i was still at this point not running a fever or jumping with excitement at the thought of getting married, my brain was still trying to comprehend what all the fuss was about, and the constant are you excited? question was starting to drive me insane, excited about what, i had met someone, and we had decided to make a life together, was i nervous? no, was i excited? no, this all seriously felt like another day at the office, with more work thrown in, to fill my already full working day.

perhaps it was my lack of stress, or excitement, perhaps i was to old to feel the jitter bug, perhaps i was being to pragmatic, hell, there were a multitude of perhapes, i could have dreamed up, three weeks before my party (because weddings are just to fake). the wedding planner (ya right)..i had done all the planning, just needed the guy to provide tablecloths and food, turned out to be the biggest "wanker" (literally) of all time, he wanted to bill me for two weddings, give me a break, the venue was mine until midnight, our plan was to utilise it for that long, as we were going to party,and enjoy 45 years of marital bliss, as well.

but Muslim weddings don't have music and dancing and Indians eat, take the gift and fuck off, before the bride even leaves the venue, so really his staff only worked till 5. this wedding was a Saturday afternoon luncheon, that would go into dancing in the evening,two bills? , give me a kit kat, i was about to swat him from here back to the teeny tiny village in Gujarat he hailed from.furthermore i had the audacity to have an opinion or idea on what i wanted the venue to look like, to cut a long story short, i told him to shove his drapes, masquerading as tablecloths where the sun does not shine, and took my pissed off ass back to the office.

suffice to say the wanderers club, have not yet returned my money, and the wanker Aadil, "i have no qualifications as a wedding planner" and certainly no taste; is still contracted to the club as their halaal caterer.

thanks to my mum and a great tip, we found an alternate venue, with a great chef, and staff that were efficient and happy to do the job, there were no need for vapours and stress hives, we moved on, to celebrate the day with much laughter and happiness, the DJ played until the bewitching hour, we ate drank, and made merry and celebrated the 45th wedding anniversary of my parents surrounded by new family, great friends and the best tea totalling party anyone ever had the misfortune to attend got us off to the start of a happy married life together. honestly weddings aren't so bad after all, when your friends really want to be there, and your family love a party, then it is the happiest most fun filled day a couple will enjoy, the stuff happy memories are made of

since then, all i ever get asked, "so how is married life?'...are you happy?"..hell would i have gotten married if i was not happy?, would i remain married if i was not happy?, how is married life really?....its fun people, it's like a comfortable old shoe, you can never give away, its dishes, and laundry, its bad movies and a barrel of laughs, it's good morning breath, and hot showers, its just every day life, with a person, who doesn't mind seeing your wake up hair, and unmade up face. who looks at your miserable face in the morning and says "good morning my gorgeous wife"..it's knowing that and loving that..and enjoying that forever feeling.

its definitelly not wedding bells and cockle shells....

compromise the four letter word.

i just had a very disturbing email from a good friend, 2010 has proved to be a truly bad year for her,and for a couple of other's to. for me of course it brought GDH, into my life, and reading my friends disturbing email, set me off thinking about compromise, is this really a four letter word, are we to demanding of the people in our lives, or in fact to demanding on our selves.

are the things we believe we must have or want in our lives, creating pressure's, large enough,that ending your life seems the only answer. perhaps marriage is the four letter word, why do we embark on this journey, if we are unwilling or unable to adjust ourselves to the changes that inevitably follows the institution of marriage.

modern man i believe is greedy, and needful and lustful of an outwardly material lifestyle that essentially is not very realistic, we envy the Hollywood lifestyles of the rich and famous, as we avariciously lap up the ideal, glued to satellite television and hello magazine. we see our co-workers spending fortunes on the latest trendy eateries, on designer clothing, electronic gadgets and the like, and we crave that lifestyle, the ordinary mundane existence of children, husbands and being the stay at home mom, becomes a stress, we need to work, to earn, to afford the lifestyle, and the kids become a bore, the husband is a bore and definitely a nurturing home, is the biggest bore.

Angelina Jolie, has Brad pit, a brood of kids and a designer lifestyle,...and she is definitely not bored, she did not have to compromise, on eating out, great parties, the red carpet, but then she is not me, middle class Jane, with a husband, three kids, no job, essentially no life, and by sitting at home, with no escape from kids, not enough cash for outside entertainment, we fight, we bottle our anxieties, to the point of feeling useless, unloved, unwanted.we are resentful of our husbands because, he goes to work, is stimulated, comes home full of the days stresses, when we have been locked away at home, bored,bored,bored.

this is not about compromise, life becomes an unfair resented circumstance, there is, i want to shout a huge difference between reality, and the reality of the rich and famous, we cannot all be Angelina or Brad or even the neighbour next door, we each have our own set of circumstances from which to live, and learn to appreciate, yet being the avaricious, animal, we are never satisfied, and the grass always looks greener on the other side.

we are essentially the sole creators of the circumstances we live in, our choice to be married was not forced on us, our choice to have children, was not a mishap, or an unguarded moment, so adjusting from being single, was not an unexpected circumstance,now to be resented, we made a choice, and the choice comes with its own unique circumstances, should we not learn to embrace this, learn to live for ourselves, not to show the world our achievements, but to appreciate the reality of our circumstances for ourselves, that is not a compromise, not a four letter word, it is an acceptance of choices, perhaps then the anti-depressants, trips to the shrink or drowning in the bath tub, might not seem the solution.

is matric all its cracked up to be

i cannot understand why our country fails to steer school leavers into learning a trade. why do institutions like the university of Johannesburg, continue to entertain these school leavers, who don't even have university exemptions.yes you want more black students passing through the system, however the education system, has been adjusted, (and not with great success i might add,)..so putting ill qualified kids into university does this country a greater disservice in my opinion of course.

the way i understand things:, tertiary education is a privilege not a right. To qualify for university entrance, one has to be a scholar of excellence, be able to afford tuition, or qualify for a scholarship or bursary, and if one did not qualify, then at least hold down a job, that helps you pay your way through university.why this feeling of entitlement, and demand for things, we are not willing to work our asses off, to have, all this attitude breeds is my contempt (understandably..no one gives a damn about that), however where do we get off expecting the bells and whistles without having to work to get it.

university entrance has become an unruly scrum, to gain admittance. university is a right not a privilege, and someone else has to foot the bill. the caliber of student is definitely not worth that sacrifice, and more importantly the attitude of these supposed students leaves much to be desired. they are an unruly, disrespectful mob, looking for the easy way out, quality education, dedication to education, hard work and enterprise are not at the top of the list. if 33 and a 1/3% is the pass rate, it is certainly obvious why we have an attitude failure. under these circumstances, what caliber of academics are we churning out, our research capabilities and input in the sciences across the spectrum, fails to excite or ignite any real interest.

while i am all for levelling the education playing fields and providing opportunities, to those who never had any, does that mean, that regardless of capacity, universities, should allow people in, i believe, that by doing this we are reducing the class and caliber of our academics into mediocrity, is that how we perceive the future of our country? mediocre.

surely we should be bolstering, technical colleges and the like, so we can increase people in the skilled trades , why has plumbing, or being an electrician or mechanic become taboo, these are all highly skilled professions, which in some cases are more financially lucrative, then being a lawyer as an example, yet most matriculants if asked want to go to law school. hell who needs another lawyer.

but a trades person with ethics and pride in his or her work, would certainly be most welcome, and definitely deserving of our utmost respect,...lets see what the class of 2010 results in...a capital F for failure, or perhaps in and amongst the miscreants, there will be a huge A for achievement and dedication..lets see

resolutions

GDW..AND GDH...OUR FIRST EID AS A MARRIED COUPLE..

this blog, is very much a private diary, here i am on the fourth day of the first month in the year 2011, with infrequent postings, and no book deal, wherever did i go wrong.

no matter GDH (short for gorgeous darling husband), is reading a book,/published blog, and nagging me to start blogging again, dear please understand, i am no Shakespeare, and this blog has no following, never the less, here is a resolution, and i never make those, i will blog more regularly, i will blog more regularly, i will blog more regularly..help, if i continue in this vein, my singular typing finger is going to be ground to a short nubby stump.

to the one reader, who has by default stumbled upon these ramblings, yes i did mention GDH...who for the purpose of this blog, will remain forever GDH, until such time as i have outgrown the honeymoon phase, yes, i did it, i got married, and the process and time it took to get there, will be continued at some later date....and, no, my travelling wedding pants did not make the cut once again.

if any of you believe, that preparing my own wedding, was for me more pleasant then attending a wedding, get over yourselves, it definitely ranked amongst the, i know why people should never marry, or just elope, and get it the hell over with,.. but that's me,... you will all know,by now, that, i believe, weddings to be a waste of time, energy,effort, and not to mention a waste of money....but the honeymoon, now that was worth the aggravation.

any way i am now to be known as GDW (gorgeous darling wife)...have a doting husband..whom, my father, cannot help but constantly tease,..."darling are you having tea with me?"...gorgeous, sweety,...can i help, etc,etc...dad thinks, he should have been A more doting Husband then my mum would never have need to call him a "galchodo manus"...(gujarati, that i cannot spell), of course, GDW, grins and bears it, as he is the new kid on the block, the guji, flies over his head, and unfortunately, he is the only white, in our brown universe, so his the "DORO"...white boy, and ripe for the picking.

well hey,since i succumbed to the ball and chain, i was not going to tow the line, now was i?...and quite frankly, which of my "own kind" (tongue in cheek ne') was going to be able to cope with me...unfortunately poor GDH...had his rose tinted glasses on,...and exactly 3 months and 2 days later, he is still wearing them, we got over the heartburn, from to much curry,...now we have to deal with the heartburn, that is an Indian family, and Indian culture, that have relaxed into themselves, and found a place to put the new recruit....poor GDH...how will he cope?

in my universe, as you can see, there are no resolutions...i dont do gym, or diets, so thats, that...but i will blog...slightly more than twice a year, perhaps when we have our "goa-nese" kids..(baby brother Arshad..likes to refer to any future rug rats as such)..since GDH..Is of portuguese descent...there might be much to talk about, for now this mish mashing of our differing cultural heritage, will, i am sure provide some entertainment, atleast for me.

more importantly, what overides all of the above, is the fact that we are South African first, and we will navigate our lives, as such. GDH..is developing a taste for curry in more ways then one, GDW..is realising that marriage is not so bad after all.

even the wedding is history

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wow, i am obviously overly busy,(or so i would like to believe ) my last post was in February when baby brother got engaged, so much has happened since.
Arshad is now married two months and two days to be exact. the newly weds are not so new anymore, and seem to be enjoying the first flush of the marriage cycle.

i almost had nothing to wear, yes the travelling pants, and a myriad of accompanying jackets,tops,and sweaters, were banned from this wedding. the sister of the groom, had to look at least a teensy bit blinged out. so after two months of ferrying the mother of the groom, and my beloved mum, to the dress guy, for the umpteenth time, i succumbed, purchased some beautiful velvet, and a rather funky looking, almost under wear type fabric, and i was giving the getting a dress made thing a shot.

so,.. he said i had saddle bags, I'm a bit overweight, he suggested a corset, at which point, i could have burst a blood vessel,..under no circumstances, was i going to subject myself, to feeling like a trussed up chicken,even for baby brothers wedding. i should have known, that this was going to go south.

on the day of the big reveal, just two weeks before the wedding, the MAN delivers my eagerly awaited dresses, yes plural, this was after all an Indian wedding, wedding on Saturday, walimah on Sunday....and no wedding pants, i was doomed and i new it.

the dresses (plural) were about the most hideous excuse for a garment, i had ever encounted, and i did not want to have to say, i told me so, a psychotic amount of money later, i was as belligerent as a two year old being denied, sweets, in a candy store, there, was not a chance in hell, that these garments would ever see the light of day...so i made a big shout out to friends on facebook, got some great responses, and took myself off to Hyde park shopping centre. all i can say is that HIP HOP rocks, ( thanks Leonie )first dress i tried on, was a shoe in, the deal was done, i was dressed, no stress, no endless fittings, no sales lady commenting on my saddle bags, 42 year old tummy, or that little bit of extra weight, that i regularly bemoan, but do nothing about.

the dress mind you, was rejected by Natasha my sister in law, who is tall, puts twiggy to shame, and could wear anything, so thanks sis..and all because she cant stand velvet..the next day, the little bolero, that came with the dress, teamed with another off the peg number from a chain store, ET voila!!..dressed for Arshads walimah, recycled clothing no less,...shhhh!!, don't let the word get out, or my upmarket neighbours, and the debutantes of this neighbourhood, will have another reason, to tilt the blue noses away from me, or is that because of the rather cold winter we are having.

the wedding itself, was a wedding..what can i say, i rather think, that my own, would also be just another, excuse for an elaborate lunch, where people will fall all over themselves to be the best dressed turkey at the ball. Arshad wanted to kill the photographer, the couple spent their entire wedding, smiling for the camera, should they not have been celebrating with guests, eating, the great food, that was on offer, instead, they smiled, and spent all night in the glare of the photographers spotlight, take it from me, get your pictures done before the reception, so you can at least enjoy some of your wedding.

ahhh!!! lest i forget, weddings have nothing to do with bride and groom, but more to do with proud parents, and overly dressed turkeys, all who come to see and be seen, and then, dissect your function, over tea, with the ladies the very next day, all the while, the newly weds, spent happy oblivious moments, looking into each others eyes, and the hapless, sister of the groom, takes matters into her own hands, to get them out of the photographers clutches, and the insane family, queueing for their picture with bride and groom,...so that the overly tired couple can be whisked off to their hotel, for some alone time, and much needed sleep.

yes sleep, after two weeks of indian wedding, there is nothing the love struck couple will ever do but try to sleep,...since the next morning, the three ringed circus begins a new. so a solid nights rest, is left for the honeymoon, as well as exploring, the best reason, for really getting married right?....its all legal.

the two weeks of wedding activity, went off rather well, and the newly weds jetted off to Mauritius, and the way Arshad describes it, a trip to Goa, might be more exciting.despite our choice of walimah venue, the fundos, also pitched, eek, going through that casino, rubbed a few noses out of joint, but the thought of succulent prawns, and mango desert must have clinched the deal.

my love hate relationship with weddings continues, there is no end in sight, perhaps when i am carried off to my final resting place, i will find some peace with it all.
bring it on, to add to my travelling wedding pants, we now have a midnight blue gown...lets hope that middle age spread can be contained, so the dress sees, the light once more.

ENGAGEMENTS

the cute little guy is Isa


the happy couple


FAEEZA, ARSHAD, AND THEIR MOMS


Faeeza's master piece, Arshad had better watch his waist line..:)


the spread at the proposal, Arshad looks on as mother's-in-law get chatting

so little brother got engaged..wedding is set for the 22ND of may 2010.
now i ask you why me, i have reached that middle of life, comfort where my favourite clothes are comfy baggy track pants...ya, ya, i know that is not good for the rear end or the hips, but I'm here, and baby brother is getting married.

to all of you who do or have never read my ramblings, i am not a fan of the "WEDDING"..the idea is off putting, and nothing about getting dressed up, rings true. wedding guests, are caricatures of their true selves, and its much like bad theatre, with some food thrown in for minor effect.

then of course comes the bitching and back stabbing after, the bride looked tired, the food was cheap, the mother in law had a bad hair day, the list is endless, then there are the "aunties" who are constantly trying to hook you up, with the "eligible" single, one eyed, mentally deficient single nephew....having said all this, my baby, and my nephews Baba, is tying the knot. my dilemma? what the hell do i wear?, since i lazed into the track pants, and happily grew into its expanding
size i am now really put out.

have only myself to blame, the thought of having to put on lipstick, or any form of makeup, is something else that erks me, but what is a girl going to do. there are just those occasions where, being beautiful and on show is called for. i hope my baby knows what a great "sacrifice" this is, he won't accept a card board cut out, so i will be there, dressed up, and very happy.

don't get me wrong, i am seriously happy, and i pray that Arshad's and Faeeza's lives are blessed with happiness, acceptance, love, and prosperity for all the days of their lives, of course it would be great if they produced more nieces and nephews for me to love, the first two, have taken to running away when they see my handy cam, i need new suckers!..i will be posting the pics of the happy tidings, so my camera shy younger brother better puck up, grin and bear it, since he is the one that chose to say i do.

we had the family over on Saturday, to celebrate their happy day, it was so good to relax and catch up. these guys are always waiting for some news from my father's household, so we will finally give them all a reason to get dressed up, i would like some gifts as well please, is anybody reading this..:)

my travelling wedding pants are a tad tight, and will not do for the sister of the groom. i am so bad at anything eastern, sari's, gaghra's etc, and western clothes have been designed for twiggy's even skinnier sister. so here i am, new short hair, not advisable with eastern dress, and my ever expanding rear, trying to forget that Baba is getting married.

budget speeches and presidents wives

February 2010 came around, President Jacob Zuma, and his many wives attended the opening of parliament on the 11Th of February. He made the worst speech of any President in the world ever, it said nothing and meant even less, if the growing girth of Presidential wives and members of parliament is anything to go by, one can now fully understand where the trillion Rand budget is heading.

into the bellies of our finance minister, and parliamentarians, not to mention their overfed wives and husbands.the media is awash, with scandals on corruption, and misuse of state funds, our president visits Davos, and all they can ask him, is about his wives, mistresses, and numerous children, twenty at the last count,i think, ofcourse if he spent time in the the Soviet union or Tanzania or Zimbabwe, i am sure there would be a couple of cone heads resident there, he has become the quintessential cartoon character, and it's all culture. the man has a remote controlled trouser zipper, and only he cannot see that, it is a national embarrassment, between his "cultural" romps,and cordon bleu meals does he actually have time to govern a country, judging by his weak speech at the opening of parliament, i think not.
not to mention, that his speech writers can't have gotten past standard two, and he obviously did not take time out of his busy social schedule to actually read it.
if indeed he wrote that clap trap, then our future is not very promising.

how about budgets, ag shame parliamentarians will have to move from a seven series BMW to perhaps a five, they might get 1% less pay rise, shock horror, they might have to pay their own DSTV subscriptions, my heart actually bleeds, oh how about performance based pay, ooof!!, does that mean ministers might not get paid at all?

how could i be so stupid, it just means they will get bonus pay, the idea is to have the job, and not work, ...silly me, work towards adding some more girth, now that takes some doing. in the mean while, unrest will grow, pot holes will become craters, i forget, i have to tell the neighbours to close their swimming pools, because they are the root course of the craters in our roads. since we are paying more for fuel after the budget, and increased licensing fees, and road tolls, do you think the company digging up central and west streets in houghton, for the last year will ever come back to finish the job?

silly me they got paid...why should they care, it's the damned swimming pools, the rich guys insist on installing, just tax them some more, it is sure to mean, that we could build swimming pools in poorer places, or do they need, housing, medical,education?

viva democracy!!!!